Grandma P's Ramblings Through Life

Each and every one of us is feeling exhausted, emotional and incredulous.

Today the weather has been better - not summer, but at least dry.
This morning we were at home and I described half a dozen more things for EBay.
I am giving myself masses to deal with once the crazy activity at the shop is all over - just one more day of trading.
Bill and I went to Ardingly this afternoon with the intention of writing up our sales so far this week - to save time later on.
It was a crazy madhouse and almost impossible to get to the book because Kate was busy writing up sales all the time.
There were a number of us in there and all able to help with wrapping and carrying and unlocking cabinets.
It was very sociable - just what we will all miss so much. There were cups of tea and Peter went to the post office stores and bought chocolate bars.
But, unbelievably, tomorrow it will all be over apart from the clearing up which is major task for everybody.
Tomorrow we will go over again in the afternoon. We are all enjoying the level of sales just now - even if little profit is being made. But somehow none of us could have coped with Rocking Horse life being like this all the time.

I am hoping that we can fit in a couple of car boot sales tomorrow too.
Faygate in the morning and Edenbridge in the afternoon.
Bill has doubts about Faygate because he has an appointment with a physiotherapist (arranged by the solicitor) at a quarter past nine. I think we can still get in a good hour at Faygate before that. I can't go on my own because Bill hasn't put me down as a driver of the hire car.

This evening I am putting some of Bill's photos from yesterday for you to share when he walked back from the town centre.
For those far away, who don't know, Crawley has been a thriving little town for centuries. But just after WW2 it was decided that Crawley, along with other places ringed around London, was ripe for expansion and a New Town was formed, which seems to be still developing 60 years on.
Bill's pictures show how the old and new link together in the centre.



St John's church is in the town centre. Many of Bill's brothers and sisters were married in this church - and Bill was a choir boy when very young.


Close by is Queen's Square. It was once a large open shopping square, but this space has been reduced by the building of new shops at one end and we feel they have spoiled things. The bandstand has been used for many interesting things.
In our teens we specially loved the Sunday afternoon jazz bands playing there and young people dancing all across the square. There are still musical performances for shoppers to stop and enjoy. And during one Crawley festival our Ashley played the part of God in a church production when he was about 10 years old.

As, no doubt, you know I am collecting postcards of Crawley and in particular of Brighton Road - our road.

Today I received one that I had bid for on EBay which I think is a bit special.
It shows HMA Delta being admired and marvelled at by people in Brighton Road (the north end by the level crossing) in 1915.

Click on it to make it bigger - I think it is so interesting.



Bill has been researching this airship during today.

And Brighton Road is where we have stayed today - yet another day of constant rain, but not as fierce as on Monday.

I have described more things for EBay. These are things I have not really dealt with on eBay before so I shall just have to see how they go. There are 6 old Ladybird books with dust wrappers - like they used to have in the 50s and 60s.
And I also have some football programmes. I know they are not as valuable as some that Rocking Horse Ian sells on EBay, but here's hoping mine actually sell.
There are a series of Brighton and Hove Albion away games programmes - many for the season when they got promoted to the top division in 1979.

I am still very tired. Meanly I am almost glad when I hear others telling me that they feel desperately tired, for this must mean that there is nothing specifically wrong with me.
The others are Jo and Bill - between the 3 of us we have all experienced accidents, the end of an era as Rocking Horse closes and also this awful weather.
Maybe it is these things that are dragging us down.
Bill and I feel that we are not yet functioning - the old world has gone (old car and Rocking Horse) and we have not yet got to a time when our new world can begin.
Bill will see a doctor or physiotherapist on Saturday morning about his jarring to the body in the accident.

No wonder car insurance is so expensive - there are just so many different people and offices involved on our behalf. Let me see - insurance office, solicitors, carhire people, people organising medical checks, doctors, physios etc. They all need their slice of the cake which the other insurance company will be slicing up. Not a day goes by without letters of or phone calls from one or other of them.

There were some patches of blue sky this evening before darkness began to fall - and hooray, the weather forecast suggests there will be no rain tomorrow; no more until Friday night and Saturday morning perhaps.

And with the pleasant thoughts of a dry day tomorrow, I bid you goodnight.

Brief words for a momentous day.
It has been my last day looking after an antiques shop.
As we left home this morning I felt almost tearful at the prospect of this chapter being over.
I have been in shops for 13 years now and for the most part Tuesdays has been my day.
This last Tuesday was incredibly busy - no time for me to finish all the basic recording of the sales for last week; indeed not time for me to finish my lunch or any of my cups of tea.
For most of the day I was on my own.
I felt so tired by closing time - well a little while after closing time was when the last customer left.
It had been fun to be busy and to talk with the customers - but exhaustion had set in and my body ached.
Perhaps it was my tiredness, but my usual efficiency when sorting out all the money deserted me.
Everybody had sold things and also many people would have to have the fact that amounts from their total has been paid on a card and therefore they would have to wait for that amount of money.
Finally I had to start the lot again - there was no way I was going to walk away on my very last day leaving behind me a complete cock up!
Bill helped me to take my time and eventually we found the errors and everything could be stowed away.
So, at quarter to seven we could walk away - and I felt no emotion except relief that I could go home!
The huge hole in our lives at the closing of Rocking Horse will seem more apparent on other Tuesdays.
And now - quite early - I shall take some tablets to ease my splitting head ache and go to bed.
Goodnight.

A Bank Holiday..... time for fun and frolic and relaxation in the summer sunshine.
But no - it has rained all day.
Committees have worked for months for village fetes, country fairs, carnivals and so on; and it all came to nought.
It has felt such a sad sort of day.

It led me to scrawl my thoughts into a vague sort of poem.

Such a sad, stormy summer's day -
Plans and projects for pleasure
Washed away by the sorrowful raindrops.
Not sparkling, silver rain,
But pounding, heavy, gloomy and grey,
Fiercely lashing across our field,
Driven by whipping, wild winds.
The lush green of our summer trees
Tossed and buffetted, branches bending.
Few people out, to be seen passing by -
But dogs, as ever, need to be walked;
Both master and beast bow heads, hiding
From cutting rain, stinging their faces.
Birds, too, stayed snug in their nests -
No joyful twitterings fill the air.
We also take refuge in comforts of home -
The Sound of Music blots out the darkness,
As we await the warmth of true summer.
Summer sunshine eludes all our dreams
On this stormy, hollow holiday treat time.
Bank Holidays anticipated, fade and die -
British weather rules the day's fate.
This one was rotten - right through to the core,
Reality and routine returns once more.

So that was today.
We stayed at home for all of it, feeling weary.
We have sorted out some activities - I have described and listed; and then sold a few things. Bill has printed some photographs and thanked some people by phone for birthday greetings.
I snuggled down on the sofa and watched, yet again The Sound of Music. What a great story it is, with wonderful sentimental songs. Bill dozed upstairs in the bedroom.
The rain has stopped now, this evening. It still looks very grey out there.
Early to bed.
Goodnight.

It has been a strange sort of Sunday - but first a look back to yesterday.
Ruth came round with Felix and we sat in the garden, where it was sunny and very breezy, but not cold.
Felix enjoyed playing with a bowl full of water and had a drink as did the rest of us.

Tired....why am I so tired?
Surely this can't still be the result of tension and emotion from the accident?
After all that accident and its aftermath, as seen on the world stage, was just a minor blot. Yes, it was a shock to us and a nuisance - but we have learned from it and should be ready to move on.
I still have some pain - but really it is not dominating any more. I wince sometimes, which almost shows that it has taken me by surprise.

We got up early with the intention of going to Ford and enjoying the day. We had been on the road just a couple of minutes when I knew I didn't have the oomph to make that effort.
I wondered if the car boot sale at Faygate ( about 4 miles from home) would be worth stopping at instead - and that is what we did.
Actually it was worth stopping. We both bought some interesting things to sell on.
We also bought a phone that has already been fixed onto the wall by the computer that Bill uses. The phone cost £1.50.
And for £1 we bought a personal stereo and headphones for me to use when away from home - away from the DAB radio beside my bed.
I also looked out for clothes. I bought the trouser suit that I am modelling in the picture below.
I paid £3 for this suit which had never been worn - still with its original price ticket. In a shop somewhere this item had been selling for £110.
It is not particularly special I don't think - and Bill commented that it looked like pyjamas!
It is actually too big for and I will have to do some careful stitching to the trouser waistband so that they don't fall down; but that will never be noticed because the jacket will always cover the alteration.



As you see from the picture it has been a sunny day.
And in sheltered spots it was quite warm - but oh dear, that wind was really strong.

This afternoon we sat out in the garden with Ruth and Felix. We filled the washing up bowl with water and Felix stripped off and played happily. There are some pictures on the camera - but these will wait until tomorrow.

This evening my intention was to enjoy the Eurovision Song Contest - but I fell asleep.
I will return to the TV shortly to see the voting. I suspect the people of Europe will continue to vote for countries viewed as friends rather than for best songs.
I can' tell you if there were any good songs actually - those I did hear seemed to have blurred into each other.
Maybe the UK will vote for Poland - after all there is now a large Polish section of the population and of course within the UK we can't vote for our own entry even if we wanted to.

The weather for tomorrow is predicted to be nasty! This might give me some time to get more things described for EBay. Today Orlando book sold for just over £34.

Goodnight. I hope life is treating you well.

I will begin with a picture taken yesterday - we didn't see Foxy this morning.
I suspect he took a look at the leaden skies and decided to snuggle down in his den, wherever it may be.
Yesterday he and we enjoyed the sunshine.
You can see the pile of new mown grass on which he reclined for some time.



I think we are really fortunate to have this outlook in front of our house - grass, trees, bushes and from time time all sorts of interesting wildlife.
Of course just beyond all this we have a busy road, but when the windows are closed (not so often at this time of year of course) we are not bothered much by the traffic noise.

The morning remained dull and I began to feel a bit chilly and had to add a layer of clothing and delve into the sock draw again to keep my feet warm.
We went out to post parcels and to buy fat blocks to keep the woodpeckers happy.

This afternoon, fortunately, it brightened up and we were sitting out in a garden.
This was after the funeral we had attended - for John, husband of Bill's cousin Rosemary.
I hardly knew John really, but he was part of the branch of the family that I have a lot of time for - the Heasemans. Bill's Aunty Sophie (nee Monk) and her husband Geoffry Heaseman had 7 children who are lovely people. They are country people - farming people at heart. Some are still farming and no doubt we will meet up with David at the South of England Show because he shows his cattle at the agricultural shows and wins prizes.
I wish we had gone to the church at Edenbridge for the main part of the funeral, but Bill thought we should just join the family at the crematorium for the short committal proceedings.
Afterwards we did join the convoy back to Edenbridge for what Rosemary had termed a "cup of tea". There was tea to drink - and more; and also a lavish spread of home made fare.
We sat in the garden and talked to lots of people in the sunshine.
As is often the case at funerals, people enjoy being together and sharing in news and life.
I enjoyed talking to John and Rosemary's son and daughter. I had promised Julie, the daughter, details of the Monk family tree - and that was 18 months ago at a Golden Wedding party.
Much has got in my way since then - and most of all my ability to put things off has got in the way.
Anyway I realised there is a lot they don't know about their Grandmother's background - that's Aunty Sophie to us. And I appreciated that they really want to know.
So, hopefully that will inspire me to get back to all my earlier work and rough notes and perhaps to add more.
And of course I will Email Julie as soon as possible with the basic family tree.

So, a sad day has been turned around for us and made good.
I think Rosemary was able to feel the same, though she must live day by day, accepting the up days with the down days and learn to live a new style of life.

Tomorrow looks to be the best day weatherwise of this long weekend, so we aim to get out. Our destination will first be Ford car boot sale and then who knows where!
I have some EBay things finishing during the afternoon - including the child's book Orlando and the Magic Carpet - bidding now up to £34.

I hope you have had a chance to see the Rocking Horse video.
http://www.midsussextimes.co.uk/mid-sussex-news/Antiques-shop-cant-compete-with.4100726.jp

And also the little snippet Jamie did of Jesica using his still camera.
http://jjjjmonk.blogspot.com/

Have a good weekend.

Goodnight.

I am even later this evening with my blog than last night.

We have, once again been timekeeping. It feels quite like the old days, when we were at athletics 2 or 3 times a week - but these 2 consecutive days of timekeeping are, I think, a one off.
This evening has been very pleasant - a Sussex Under 13's League match. The weather was warm - and there were enough timekeepers for this meeting. And the enthusiasm and team spirit of the youngsters creates a good atmosphere.
I worked with Jenny, from East Grinstead; it was so good to be working with somebody whose times matched so well with mine. Such an evening confirms some self belief and confidence that I am good at the task.

The day began with warm sunshine lighting up the bedroom. The fox was enjoying the warmth too. Bill took some more photos - but they will have to wait until tomorrow to be shared.
The foxy was very appreciative of a pile of grass cuttings over by his bushes - a soft and luxurious bed for him to recline on!

Later we did the week's shopping in Tescos. I will return to that in a moment.

This afternoon I have wrapped and invoiced once again - 6 more books ready for new homes. Today I had my first customer from Estonia.

This evening I had what I could call a sort of revelation or a wake up call concerning shopping.
This morning had been horrid in Tescos, crowded with customers and staff filling the enormous trolleys they have to make up the orders of customers buying from the internet site.
The athletics track at Horsham is right by another large Tescos store. I suggested we pop in after the meeting to buy one or two bits we had forgotten or couldn't find this morning.
The experience was such a contrast with the morning. The aisles were fairly empty and the atmosphere was relaxed.
I resolved that shopping trips should be undertaken regularly in the evening.

I suppose it is hard for older folk like Bill and me to move on from doing things the way we would have done them when we were first married.
In those days shops were open from morning til afternoon, but not in the evening - all night even, and definitely not on a Sunday.
But all through history things have changed and although it is all very well to look back with nostalgia for the olden days, it is best to be adaptable and move forward and take advantage of modern ways.
And it certainly is an advantage to feel calm and relaxed whilst shopping.
So, we will be come evening shoppers for a while and see how much better it continues to feel.

The other bit of shopping today has been the payment of a deposit on the silver Berlingo that will be ours.

Ribs have been more painful for me during the last couple of days - I think different ribs are reacting and healing at different rates and as one might ease another complains.

Well, it is almost 11 o'clock. We have had a good supper of cheap snacks bought this evening and watched a recording of Emmerdale, and now it is time to get to bed.
Goodnight.

I am quite late this evening getting to the computer for blog writing.

We have been out at the athletics track.
I had half thought about not attending - but just as well I did for the number of timekeepers was small; there were 5 of us to deal with a high quality meeting, and 1 was very new to the timekeepers' stand and another has only recently qualified.
At one point we were down to just 4 of us to time runners for another was doing another duty.
That was during the race the starters decided to send 20 runners off to do 1500 metres.
It was a mammoth feat of concentration to get times for all the athletes.
It was Bill who took on the role of chief, but I am glad I was there to help him through it.

The major news of today is that Ruby the Red - the car abandoned in North Wales has been deemed a write off.
The insurance company have made a fair offer based on the value of the car; but we might try to push them for a little more.
The replacement - which will be the silver Berlingo registered as recently as March - will obviously cost us more than we will actually receive.
We have the hire car now until 7 days after the cheque arrives - but that could be a couple of weeks yet.
I think it is a relief to Bill to know that his own assessment of Ruby was correct and that he can now move on to organising the next motoring chapter.

Well, time for bed. I enjoyed being out this evening, amongst friends - but I do get tired easily. I spent some time asleep this afternoon.

Congratulations to Manchester United for winning through to be the best football team in Europe. We have just watched the penalty shoot out which in the end it all hinged on.
I realised in the end that I wanted Man U to win and mainly because of the likes of Ryan Giggs - loyal, hard working, not a media celebrity like many other footballers - oh and Welsh of course!
Sorry - this is probably like a foreign language for most people who look at the blog - but Jamie retains an interest in the game and watches when he can.

By the way, Jamie has put lots of school pictures of the children on the jjjjblog. Do take a look.

Goodnight.

Good evening from the Land of Nod.

We had talked of going out for a meal to celebrate Bill's birthday. I saw ourselves on Devil's Dyke, enjoying the view, maybe taking a few photos and then strolling into the pub sited up there.
But Bill confessed that he didn't really feel up to it.
But it has been me who has spent the evening asleep on the sofa.

Maybe it was the long hours in the shop that tired me out.
Now that we are closing you just can't keep people away and they arrive at closing time, wanting to browse.
So for almost 9 hours I have been at the desk, writing and wrapping.

Roger feels that I should view hours in the shop as "work" and not a chosen path in life, a hobby.
On that basis almost any activity is work .
I no longer spend much time being active in the community - but have never viewed being on a committee or timekeeping at an athletics meeting as work; even though these things take up a lot of time and sometimes create a certain amount of stress wondering if I could achieve all that I felt I should do.
I wonder if Roger views being curator of the village museum as work.
I see "work" as a means to an end - in my case it was always the way I knew best to keep the family funds solvent, even though I would always have much rather not be doing it.
Others may see it as a means to boost their position in life.
I suppose some are happy to have an employer give some structure to life and provide activities and a social life. Bill did reflect when he retired that he might be missing these things.
But fortunately the freedom of life without "work" has continued to give Bill most of these benefits.
Sorry - I have just used my general blog to muse on an answer to Roger's comment.
I wonder what others think.

Anyway - whether I view it as "work" or a hobby, there is no doubt that I have worked hard at Rocking Horse today - and almost entirely for the benefit of others. It certainly wasn't to boost the family funds today.
Each one of us sold today - but I had only 2 small sales today.
Having said that I should add that during the last week many of my things have been sold - hooray!
That will save us "work" at the end of the month.

This evening 5 bunches of flowers arrived from our friends at the athletics club.
The card was addressed to both of us.
I can only assume that somebody decided that we had had more than enough of our fair share of bad luck spells just recently.
I have just heard Terry Pratchett (very successful author and recently diagnosed with Alzheimers) on the radio - he described such a spell as we have had as a "Clapham Junction" period of life!
Bless him - Bill had the work of dealing with the flowers whilst I dozed. I am not sure if they can all stay indoors. Lilies are beautiful but the scent disturbs me.
I am not sure if I shall feel fit enough to be a timekeeper at the Open meeting tomorrow.
Perhaps I should stay away with excuses of my continued pain to feel like I justified receiving the flowers!
I have ached a lot as the day has progressed - and mostly I was sitting still. But that chair behind the desk is in dire need of replacing - except of course that it won't be now.

Right, I wasn't going to ramble write so aimlessly. Sitting here doing very little beats making the effort to climb the stairs and deal with night "wee" bags and so on.
But I must get on with it and continue to sleep.
Tomorrow or the next day maybe we will have a lunch time meal out to celebrate Bill's birthday and to enjoy being here in this world, despite what has been thrown at us recently.

Well, I must draw this "Clapham Junction" of a day to a close.
Goodnight.

We woke up fairly late - about half past seven.
The noise from the front garden was loud and joyful as the starlings (parents and babies) greedily enjoyed their breakfast.
The woodpecker popped in and out of the scene too.
There were many of the smaller birds, sparrows, tits - and also a pair of goldfinches.

I wonder if the sounds gladdened the heart of another local resident.
As Bill made a cup of tea I saw the fox sitting in front of the bushes across the field, warming himself in the sunshine.
His head went every which way as birds flew overhead. He knew that some would make a good breakfast, but he didn't seem to know how to actually catch them.
He was well and truly tantalised.

Strange sort of day.
We have battled on to make this like a normal Sunday, but it hasn't felt like one really and we both feel very tired and brains feel scrambled.

I was awake during the night with hiccoughs - odd word.... why isn't it hiccups?
Apparently it is medically known as synchronous diaphramatic flutter.
However it is called or spellt, it was a bother.
It made my upper chest hurt badly - the same pain I described to ambulance men on the road from Mold.

The skies were brighter today than yesterday - but the winds from the north east were cold.
We ended up at Horley because Pease Pottage organisers had feared further rain and cancelled the boot sale.
It was crowded at Horley and items of interest were few.
We spent less than £6 between us.

So we decided to try our luck again at the first of the Blindley Heath boot sales which start at 1 o'clock.
It was hard work on the uneven ground of a sloping field.
We spent a little more - but maybe have less things worth having.
But we did buy a few plants - I look forward to the pink flowering "tumbling Ted" trailing over the walls of the raised garden in the back.

We were both quite hungry by the time we got home - so I quickly peeled some potatoes and put together a meal; it was a mid afternoon dinner.
But it sort of upset the body clock I think - this is feeling like a very long evening!

I have just watched an interesting documentary about 2 families where the children have a genetic skin condition - so rare that they are almost the only people in the country with it; and it turned out that the families were related to each other somewhere back along the family tree.
The good humour of the sufferers and carers was immense - and the skin needed long hours of washing and creaming several times a day.
It was informative, and above all taught me a lesson - one I do already know of course and that is I am extremely lucky to be functioning almost normally and that I shouldn't grumble about the the very minor changes in routine that my medical history has caused.
Mind you - bet those skin suffering girls grumbled sometimes, when cameras weren't pointing at them!

And now it is almost time for bed once again.
I must make sure I sit up straight to drink water during the night - I must avoid those hiccoughs or SDF's as the medics would say.
I am more or less sitting up all night to sleep to avoid crushing ribs, but I do tend to slide down my pile of pillows.
Goodnight.

Here is John, home from school yesterday, wearing the hat he had made.




I don't have a picture of Jessica because yesterday she had to be picked up from school early, suffering from a sickness bug.
It didn't last long and she has been much better today.

I have made an effort to be much better too.
It was silly to allow such a lot of negativity to creep into my life as a result of one bad experience, which actually in the vast panoply of experiences people face was not such a tragedy.
It was a frightening nuisance! A painful nuisance too! But nothing worse than that.

The weather is also a nuisance - but all in all not as bad as predicted.
And it is improving.

This morning we went to Ardingly so that Bill could sort out the farm collection in his cabinet for a potential customer.
Bill has left a message on the man's answerphone and maybe he will contact us at the shop on Tuesday morning.
The shop was full of people for a time whilst we were there.
Bill and I have sold every day - sold at knock down prices. On Tuesday I dragged a small table out of the garage, which we had used indoors for a while. It had sunk in our estimation to nothing more than a shelf for a box of potatoes, so it mattered not really how much we got for it. In fact we got £4 and also more space in the garage.

Today of course has been Cup Final Day. The football FA Cup Final is one of those sporting fixtures which get noticed by almost everybody, whether they are sports fans or not.
This year gave us a match between 2 football clubs who are not up there with the superstars.
I saw much of the match - whilst doing the vegetables and things. I had no particular loyalty and would have been content with either side winning. Porstmouth were the favourites and the place is quite close to home and a bit familiar to me. I spent my first ever holiday there, aged about 5 - it was the place where I first experienced staying up until gone midnight!
But, oh the stirrings of the heart as the Welsh national anthem rang out for Cardiff.
It was a close match - and Portsmouth won, by a lucky goal.

I had a few things finishing on EBay this afternoon - 6 books which had been listed before; two of them sold. I think the remainder will have to join books in boxes waiting to be taken to car boot sales.
One book that will definitely be sold is Orlando the Marmalade Cat (I mentioned it yesterday) - the bidding is now up to over £19 and there is over a week to go.

Bill and I have been discussing the car boot sale prospects for the morning. It has rained very little really - it wouldn't be too wet to go to Pease Pottage again. But maybe it would be good to see somewhere different - Dorking and Horley. The afternoon sales at Blindley Heath start tomorrow. I would normally choose to go - but the field there is sloping and uneven and I might not be feeling strong enough, though I would have my walking stick with me; useful for me is that stick - for walking and perhaps for pushing rival buyers out of the way!

Well, time for the evening cup of tea.
I hope people who have been to weddings today have enjoyed themselves - whether it be the Royal family at Windsor or the village folk of Market Lavington.
Goodnight.

I will begin today with a visitor who brings us joy - and he (and this one is a male) seems quite delighted with the arrangement too.




Here is "our" elegant great spotted woodpecker. We don't know where the birds nest, but often hear the tap tap tapping of beaks amongst the trees at the back of the house.

We rarely see two of them together in the front garden but they are with us for spells throughout the day from early in the morning, when we hear the characteristic call as Woody hangs onto the trunk of Solly's tree and pecks eagerly at the fat blocks we put out for them.

The greedy starlings love the fat blocks too and take advantage of the woodpecker's absences.
The starlings have the babies feeding with them now.


Apart from the woodpecker the day has felt dull - in weather and activities.
I have been in some pain today and have not felt like pushing myself.
Bill has done rather better. This morning he walked into town and bought some flowers to put on his parents' grave and to tidy things up there. He walked home, calling in at his sister's house and having a cup of tea with our brother in law, Roger.
He came home with an aching knee - maybe part of his ongoing problems, but maybe also a result of the knock on the knee he got during the accident.


After lunch we had more forms to deal with from the solicitor - 4 large envelopes plopped through the letterbox this morning.
Of course, being dense, we needed to query a few things about what was required of us.
Basically I have to give permission for my medical records to be accessed.


There has been no news of course of the activities of Mr Turner Bone. We presume he has been to see Ruby today.


I described 6 more books this morning and they have been listed. I am working through a pile of books about the history of Liverpool that I bought for 10p each. They are attracting interest.
But the book which has the most watchers - and a bidder is Orlando (the marmalade cat) and his magic carpet. It is a first edition and already has 15 people watching and hopefully some of them will bid later on. It is potentially worth about £100, though I hardly expect that.

I have bids on 3 Crawley - Brighton Road postcards - I think I might have to spend a lot of money to get them. I know my limits - but then after I lose postcards I would dearly like to have, I regret my careful ways with money. I think I shall have to have the one with the airship over Brighton Road.


The dullness in the air, in the day and in my brain are making me feel very tired.
Tomorrow we have to go over to the shop and maybe this can put some spark back in me.
Somebody is interested in all Bill's remaining farm animals and other metal figures and so Bill must work out a good and fair price. Whilst we are in Ardingly we can get tickets for the South of England Show at half price - because of our attachment to the village through the shop.
We have not been to the show for very many years and will look forward to it at the beginning of June.
On Monday we will be back at the shop again because the local newspaper want to make a video, which will be shown on their website.
What a treat is in store for you as we appear with our friends in Rocking Horse.


Dinner is cooking in the oven.
After our meal I shall try to chill out a bit and relax before yet another early night - sleeping sitting up still. I tried to lie on my side last night, but my ribs couldn't stand it for long.

Have a good weekend.
Bye for now.

All morning!

Yes, we were involved in dealings concerning the accident all morning.
It is a long and winding road we travel - sometimes forwards and then suddenly we are thrust into reverse.

The solicitor (on the phone) went though everything connected with any injuries and trauma. We must sort out the phone bill at the end of the month so that we can charge for all the phone calls we have made.
I shall have to see an independent doctor at some point - not for some weeks yet. That doctor has to wait whilst the people I have seen - A&E at Bangor and the local GP send off a report of my visits.
The solicitor will arrange for Bill to be assessed by a physiotherapist. I may also have this - but not until the ribs are healed.
Just a thought .....I wonder if I can claim for the embarrassment of not being able to wear a bra! It really gets to feeling too uncomfortable after about an hour, so I have given up for a while.
I have to say I have felt quite a bit better today - not so disorientated, more in control.
I think the world looks better without tramadol, although the solicitor said that I was describing symptoms very common after an accident.

Then Bill made inquiries about the engineer's report on our car. The insurance company still had heard nothing.
Bill told the Ins Co that he had been advised about the charges for recovery, storage and disposal of the car and he was asked to send off a copy.
Then, out of politeness Bill responded to that communication from the people who have the car in their pound. He told them not to worry, they would get their money from the Ins Co as soon as they have heard from the engineer who inspected the car last week.
Then came the bombshell - nobody has, in fact, been to inspect the car.
We were angry!
So, Bill phoned the Ins Co back and asked what is going on. He was polite of course and after a long pause when the person at the other end left him to go and make inquiries, he was given the name of somebody who would look at poor Ruby tomorrow.
The person had better have got that information right.
Somehow it all seemed a bit far fetched when he learned that the engineer was Mr Jack Turner Bone.

Just adding that I have searched for Turner Bone on the internet and am pleased to announce that Mr Jack Arthur Turner Bone is a graduate of the association of Independent Motor Assessors.
Not just a member like lots of those listed - but a graduate; only the best for our Ruby!

The news that we have been waiting eagerly, but in vain, for information set my anxiety off again - shallow breathing, knotted stomach etc.

There was nothing else we could do today.

This afternoon we went to Lidls for some shopping. It has tired me out. Maybe the outbreak of anxiety has caused me to feel very tired again.

I hurt this evening and a while spent dozing was a welcome relief. It looks like I shall have another early night.

Do have a look at Jamie's family blog - many episodes of family life and their recent trip to Chumphon are featured with many pictures.
Jamie's Blog http://jjjjmonk.blogspot.com/

Well, time to organise bedtime. Goodnight.
And honestly, despite my moans, I do truly realise we that are so much better off than millions of others in the world - particularly we think of the major disasters in Burma and China. But each day there are so many stories of heartbreak and tragedy throughout the world and we are lucky not to be included amongst them.

It is Wednesday afternoon - another day of pain and troubles!

So, what could be nicer than sorting some pictures of our sons and grandchildren?

I think the doctor should have acknowledged these things. He even suggested that I should ask a hospital doctor for a brain scan because of the increased headaches, which is a side effect on the list.

I have been talking to Jo about tramadol. She was put on it after her accident, on the same day as ours. She has had no other drug to intermingle with it like I have, but knew something was wrong and after 10 days determined to stop the drug and then noticed bad effects of withdrawal symptoms.

She commented that I have expressed things on the blog that she has felt herself.

I will not take it any more - trouble is really bad pain has you reaching for anything to ease it.

The one positive result of my appointment is that I have had my first B12 injection. These will be every 3 months.

The paperwork and phone calls continue - and there are so many agencies dealing with our case. Bill is never sure who has instigated what.

He has talked with the solicitor today and they are wondering why they have not received a form back from me about my injuries. Well, they didn't send one.

They will probably get an independent doctor to see me after about 8 weeks. Hopefully my pains will have eased a lot by then.

The insurance company have not yet received the engineer's report about poor Ruby (the car). The insurance people think the engineer is being rather slow. But he has to itemise every bit of damage and calculate the parts and labour costs for putting each thing right - and hopefully will then decided that repair costs would be too much.

Bill has been looking up how much a replacement car of the same age would cost us - because this is the amount that the insurance company ought to pay out. He will also contact our local Citroen garage to ask how much they could sell one to us for. We have to do this because the insurance company will perhaps try to get away with paying us less than they ought.

We got an advice note today from the car pound, explaining the costs of recovering the car from the hedge, the daily storage charge and then the costs of disposal. These have been copied and sent to the insurance company.

It seems to be never ending.

And so, I guess, does this blog. Sorry! My next task must be to write a heartfelt account of my injuries, effects, trauma etc and how it is made worse by all my recent history. This will go to the solicitor, who will then seek some compensation. I am not into all this compensation grabbing really - but then, when it come to the point, £3,000 would be very useful. Jo suggests that is about what I might get.

Right - Bill has made the mid afternoon cup of tea. I will stop and drink it. I shall be glad later on that I have written the blog this afternoon - my evenings have been disappearing in a haze of exhaustion and confusion.

Grandma just doesn't feel good.
Of course the ribs hurt - but why do I feel so rotten in other ways?

Today was busy in the shop. If Kate hadn't come in for a brief visit I might have gone to pieces over the large amount of sales to one buyer.
It is just not like me not to be able to cope.
I was so grateful to Kate for her help.

Late Bill came back and his presence got me through the sorting of the money. We didn't get away till almost 6 o'clock.

All I want to do right now is go to bed.

Tomorrow I shall see the GP. I have some doubts about how much they can help beyond some sympathy for cracked ribs.
If this is an endocrinology problem that has flared up then the local doctor will not feel in a position to make decisions when I have a specialist dealing with those things.

I want my life back. Just how many times have I been thinking that during the last year or so?

Good night. I hope to offer you more joy and contentment tomorrow.

I can't write much this evening.
The pain takes over sometimes.
It has affected me all day - making me feel quite unwell at times.
Bill has filled in the forms for the solicitor as best he can. We still don't have enough information really - no news of the fate of the car.
We can claim for a variety of expenses, but as we are dealing with a legal team I am wondering what I might be able to get for the pain and trauma of all this.
I certainly feel physically and mentally knocked back to Square One.
We shall see.
I have done a little describing of books today - I began with some enthusiasm, but soon I was floundering.
Bill has been out to find a time switch so that the washing machine can do its work during the night, when it is cheaper and indeed more convenient for us.
He now has it fixed to the wall and all is in working order.
My blood test hurt today - made me want to cry!
There are things in the car ready to take to the shop - I keep finding things that we might as well try to pass on very cheaply.
I want to do my duty at the shop. We shall see how I am.
Sorry to whinge and moan.
I shall go to bed soon - to snuggle under the duvet, covered with one of the kingsized ones we bought on Anglesey at the car boot sale. Three duvet covers and 6 pillow cases for £5 was indeed a good bargain.
Goodnight.

Today I look back to lunch in Colwyn Bay.
Wetherspoon's has converted a cinema; there are tables on several levels.
It proved hard to photograph, because flash was needed; this lit up the foreground and left the background looking black.

I am doing the blog earlier today - before I get too tired.

I share with you pictures of Katya (Ekatarina), Ashley and Liz taken last weekend.
Oh - and then there is a picture of a carrot!