Thursday, June 19, 2014


Time for changes.

Let's try a blog again
This is a day for some changes. A hospital bed will arrive in the house and we will set up a downstairs boudoir. Complete with commodes
Funding will change too. I knew that the scheme that has helped me would be temporary. Now I will be part of the oh so wise, care in the community package. Not so wise when you realise that it's about who pays (me) and profits and loss. Today I have to choose a company to work with, tell them what I want and then pay. I think that I will pay something like 40 a week. But as the ad says. I am worth it
Clare went to visit he Dad, with Ruth and found it difficult. The changes since last November are profound..
We will go together tomorrow. Taxi ride and wheel chair
Some old blog readers, bless them have missed my rambling. And there have been new folk into my world. I could suggest that for a while some people might join me on Facebook.I know that as weeks progress there will be less writing , just quick sentences. Facebook can be used as you wish create a new persona, that only you and I know.
If you can then find me on Facebook - Paula Monk. I would love to know H and H
Hope I feel stronger soon have lots to think about.

Sunday, June 08, 2014



First a message for Pete and Jean. I tried to
Phone, you - but I felt too wobbly to go down to find the book. Your number should be on my mobile.  I tried to Skype too, but you hadn'been able during your off line stage that I had changed my Skype name for the tablet.Perhaps ring me tomorrow and we can sort is partly my fault that I had a bad day - I didn't take pain killers until it was too late. But the sweet nurse from Zimbabwe was so patient and calm.
I have ticked foods that I think I would like from Wiltshiy Farm Foods. I need things that easy to eat with a spoon - and not sweet things, because I have really gone off sweetness.
Jenny has been round today.. The boys are so good when they with me
We watched some of tennis together.
I wish that my fingers would stop being jittery and shaky. Makes me quite unstable
Now a message for Jamie. The general ffeling is that. It would be beneficial for you to come and see us. If you didn't come and
I got
 worse, then you would regret it,
Also it would be best to spend time with your Dad, whilst he still has some wits   - although the noise can be quite distressing,
I wouly pay for your ticket when you arrive.
If you can do it, then do it..





Sunday in my world

There has been so much sleeping and very little writing, very little
 Of anything useful Typing ishatde because my fingers shake so My body shakes a lot. So then I sleep some more  I am far too feak and  weeble. But I can see some signs of progress The nurses still come 3 times a day. They help me to wash and get me some food
They do all manner of things
Yesterday they discovered a urine infection
This will be checked again tomorrow
Jenny returned from the I of W
Today Ruth flies to Jamaica ,,,,\ a prize from work
Jo has been wonderful
Next week there are others I can
 call in. The more the merrier. If you could visit then please do
Company and laughter are excluded medication

Thursday, June 05, 2014


one traumatic day

Sorry, blog friends, I wrote nothing yesterday. It had been an awful day.
I woke with intense nausea and did too much physically and mentally. Dr Dullo wanted to see me. He cares d is determined to maintain contact and support. Jo, my antiques dealer friend, commented on what a lovely man he is.
Lots of exercise for me. Had to go to the pharmacy to collect anti nausea medication.
Then Jo and I went to see Bill That was hard mentally. I don't know what he was able to absorb. He wasn't quiet for one second we were there. He thinks that he should be at home. And that just cannot be. I am glad that Jo was with me. It has been a while since they met. And she could see the truth of the situation. I don't believe ambody thinks I am lying, but they could wonder if I am exaggerating the situation...
I spoke to an admin person about Bill not joining in activities. There could be lots to do. But nobody can be forced to do anything, because that could count as abuse. So Bill stays in his room, doing nothing.
Home then to be greeted by nurses. I felt duty bound to eat a little.
Then I fell. asleep on the sofa
Ruthb came by and emptied the freezer. Glad she came - .somebody to help me when I puked up noodles.
The. evening nurses didn't push me to eat. They helped me to get to bed. And there I stayed until more vomit.
What a day - too much trauma.
I feel fragile still. But another day brings new challenges.
Ruth has been already with home cooked food, using some of my freezer food. Will see her again later and also Matt, my half brother. Maybe he can mend door bells.

Tuesday, June 03, 2014


Busy being cared for

Busy day. People kept turning up to help me!
My early nurses came and cooked scrambled eggs.

 Jenny would have been proud to see me tucking into two eggs on toast.
Then they helped me to wash and change wee bag. They must have been here for an hour and a half.
A little later the occupational therapist came. She seemed to think that I should have every gadget known to man! I was not going to refuse anything.
The built up loo seat arrived this afternoon.
The lunch time nurse made toast and marmalade, and nagged me about exercise. I rewarded her by falling asleep!
 Then the evening nurses came and heated a chicken and mushroom risotto that we found in the freezer this morning. Very tasty! In addition, there have been friendly phone call

Monday, June 02, 2014


Yes. it:'s cancer.

well, it has been quite a day.
The consultant, Mr Butler Manuel was kindness itself, not sure I could be coping with such a heavy load. In fact, I am not.
I was not at all surprised to have cancer again. I am surprised that it is a cancer connected to the bladder cancer that I had. I am not looking forward to a month of radio therapy, with daily trips to Guildford in a mini bus.
Today, the support from professional groups hs kicked in. This afternoon two nurses came.
Later  two others came and one made me some scrambled eggs.
People will be back in the morning to help me shower and make breakfast.
Tomorrow I shall order meals from Wiltshire Farm Foods.
There are people coming from social services tomorrow too.
I am not lucky - far from it! Life stinks! But I do feel fortunate that some knowledge and some bullying have taken me to the heart of good care.
Join me in sending love and support to all who suffer.

Sunday, June 01, 2014



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