Grandma P's Ramblings Through Life

Ford this morning......didn't buy much.
The sun shone.
Into Littlehampton for breakfast and chat.
Didn't stay long afterwards......but long enough to enjoy some lively music.





Home for rest - until the bright low sun shining on the dust prompted me to clean the bedroom.

I enjoyed using the bedroom as an extra sitting room for a while this evening.
I watched my rubbish X Factor, whilst Bill watched Atlantis downstairs.
Yes - I got the new TV working.

Not much of a day to speak of.

After a rather late night, I slept badly with lots of waking moments and completely awake much too early.
So the day has somewhat drifted away from me.
This morning we had to buy bread and milk and some other bits.
But I also had plans to spend some money on a bigger item.
I think much of the town had a similar idea.
Yet another American commercial venture has been adopted - today has been Black Friday. Why black? It is supposed to be the day when the retail trade makes more money than any other day of the year.
So what, we British used to think.
But today shops made a big thing of it and had some items very much reduced in price.
It was impossible to find a parking space in Asda - which is, of course an American company; it is a subsidary of Walmart, a company who an American friend has taught me to deride for being so profit based (well, of course) that their workers get a poor deal.
Finally we went and parked in the nearest town car park - should have given up really.
But these days once I have an idea then I seem to demand that it be followed through immediately.
It is Bill who opts to put things off - until weeks and months have passed.
We have always had somewhat different tastes in TV programmes and much more markedly so these days.
Why not have another TV? And why not today?
Bill was hesitant - feeling nervous about his abilities at setting it up.
But we bought a second one for the bedroom. It is done. And it is half set up - there is a picture. But he hasn't yet managed to change channels.
We were glad to escape Asda and come home - having not bought food for the birds as planned.
Then I noticed that something was wrong with my phone.
I was sure it was minor but I decided to get advice - so this afternoon I was back in the town.
The problem could be fixed from settings and all is well.
I have only had my internet linked phone since March, but being without it would feel like a disaster!
I haven't felt really well today - a condition familiar to me and increasing in intensity all the time.
My digestion is fragile.
And don't we all know why?
Yes - the dreaded bread/wheat/yeast has raised its ugly head. I don't have coeliac disease. I can tolerate small amounts of gluten.
But as the amount increases I become less and less tolerant.
The wind is bad enough; and the pain I have now is intolerable. It's up to me to put things right.
I wish Bill had the power to make a similar choice - he also suffers very badly with wind. Which is worse - his loud prolonged belching or my version of the same problem from the other end?
Whoops! too much information!
I will have an early night - much needed.
We (hopefully both of us) will be up early to go to Ford. Forecast is for sunshine at Littlehampton.
I have done a blog about Shere. I hope you enjoy the pictures,

Yesterday we spent a little time in Shere, not far from Guildford.
It is a pretty village nestling on the slopes of The Surrey Hills. Our drive took us through golden beech woods - shame that the sun wasn't shining.
Shere is popular with visitors - but surely there must have been reasons for the great abundance of cars in the car park and on the road side? Late November is not a prime time for tourist visits.
We parked in the car park just beyond the village main street......Middle Street.
The turning for that car park is a few yards beyond the pink cottage.































Two and a half years have elapsed since our last visit - but there is a sort of timelessness about a village like Shere.
But there have been changes.
The old forge, where we admired ironwork and artwork is no longer operating.
And The White Horse, where we ate last time, has changed hands. For some reason I felt far less attracted to a dining experience there this time, despite it being a lovely old building. The menu was less extensive and prices were higher.





















We decided to take a little walk and survey other eating places. Maybe we would choose to travel on to another village.


The little River Tillingbourne flows through the village.



















































We walked parallel to the river for a short distance, passing The Old Prison.



Dates from 1710.























































On the other side of the lane were allotments - well kept and loved.
























































Chard - such a beautiful looking vegetable.


A fun front garden.
Maybe the flowerpot scarecrow was made by the creator of these flower pot men.

























We walked as far as the ford.







































































And then almost opposite the pink cottage we found a delightful place to for a snack.


Ye Olde Sandwich Shoppe.

It is certainly old and there were certainly sandwiches.

Steve, the owner, does a roaring trade in take away sandwiches and soup.
This makes me wonder if perhaps there is more employment in the village than is apparent.  He couldn't rely on passing trade for lunchtime take away food
























Bill sits in the window, waiting for his lunch.

He had a hot bacon bap with hot chocolate and a white chocolate rocky slice.

I had a huge bowl of thick and tasty pea and ham soup.

I have some photos - but they must wait until the morning.
We have been out this evening - babysitting my 2 young nephews; not babies, but lively young boys.
We had a good time together.....watching You've Been Framed and then having story time and then, for them, sleep.
It's half past eleven now and I guess I need sleep.
Bill needs it more - what on earth is he doing still up?

We decided to leave our hunting trip to Ford until Saturday, when the sun might be shining.
Shame it wasn't shining today because we drove through some fabulous golden beech woods on our trip out.
Our day would take us finally to Dorking, but we began in Shere.
It is a pretty and affluent village with a good value pub (The white Horse) that I remembered from a visit about 3 years ago.
But, as pubs do, it had changed hands and the menu had changed along with the prices.
It's a lovely old building - I gather it had been used in the Bridget Jones Diary film.
We enjoyed a little walk - and a few photos and checked out other places where we might eat.
We chose a little cafe, known as (and I wish it wasn't!) Ye Olde Sandwich Shoppe.! But it is in a very old building and it does do sandwiches.
I opted for the pea and ham soup which was thick and tasty.
Lovely people.
It is very popular - opened 9 months ago today.
The owner chatted and in so doing told us that the standards in The White Horse had dropped as the prices went up.
Glad we turned our back on it.

The reason for going to Dorking was to re-arrange and add to Bill's section. He had sold a lot of toy soldiers on Tuesday.
Just because he will close the section at the end of the year doesn't mean we can allow it to look bleak and empty - not during December.
Whilst we were there an unexpected family member walked through the door.
So good to see my sister in law, Ann.
She was in West Street so that her man could visit the model shop. Ann popped in and popped out pretty quickly so that she could catch up with Steve, who had left the model shop and was looking for her.
She has been busy baking in readiness for a fund raising event tomorrow; something my niece is very involved with - the raising of money for a Pre School Nursery in her village.
Good luck to everybody.

The mention of Dorking reminds me that you blog readers will not yet have heard that my appeal against the parking penalty has been successful. I was reminded that I had been a naughty girl and I should not do it again!
I was doubly careful as we parked today.

I could fill a book with Bill lapses, I guess.
But a couple were interesting today. We watched a house programme as we had breakfast this morning. One house buyer who bought a run down house at auction told us that after renovation his total outlay was £97,000.
"Gosh - that's a lot" says Bill.
"Well Bill" I asked....."How much do you think our house is worth?"
Yes, it's a small house; but it is close to London and Gatwick and in the affluent south east corner of the country. So I was a bit surprised that he thought it might be worth £60,000.
It would be at least 3 times that these days.

This evening  he was completely confused as we sat minding the boys for the evening.
He admitted that as I read stories he wasn't sure where he was.
I don't think he really sorted that one out.
I think he was muddling family members - maybe we were in East Grinstead, home of Ann who we had seen briefly in the afternoon?
Then he didn't seem to be sure just who we were waiting for to come back home after an evening out.
"Jenny" I said.
"Will she be staying the night then?"
"Bill - this is her home, she lives here"
"Oh of course"
But he said it again when Jenny got back home.
I have said before that I can cope with memory lapses; they surprise me always, but they are kind of quaint! Quaint but very sad.
Is he bothered? I think momentarily he doesn't like the confusion. But it is soon forgotten.

Well, Bill is now in bed. It is nearly midnight. I assume it will be a late, late breakfast for him in the morning.

I have had a picture like this in my mind for much of the day.
That was how it was.......in June. It is our little back garden.
The phlox at the far end have yet to flower. The delphiniums have long gone and the time for those phlox flowers is over.
So what was there on this murky November day?
Dead spike stalks and wilted leaves and crumbling seed cases.
I should have been tidying regularly - keeping things trimmed.
But I haven't been disciplined.
But of course the day came when there was a great deal to be done.And that day was today.
I can't say that my back garden now looks good - gardens just don't look good in November. But much that needed cutting back to allow for new growth next year has been done.
Once again we look forward to seeing the delphiniums and phlox.
The back garden, with its raised bed is easier for me to deal with than the front.

But the front garden was looking very sad and in need of care and attention.
The peonies.......from Bill's family home, were a mass of dead leaves and soggy stems. The echinops were.......well, both alive and dead. There were long spiky dead spears and and an abundance of healthy growing green leaves......with some flower buds.
I set to work.
Which ached first? My back or my hand?
I began to suffer from secateur hand pain. My back felt fixed into an achy bent position and I felt a bit queasy from all that bending.
I needed a rest.
Bill had been out cleaning the car, inside and out - well done, Bill. He was exhausted too.
We stopped for some lunch.
I returned to my task, hoping Bill might join me with some more secateurs; but he dozed instead.
I just couldn't do more than another half an hour; so the work isn't finished.
But I am pleased to see again some of the interesting shapes of some of the plants - miniature tree with curly branches for example.
The garden can wait now until the weekend.

We took 3 large boxes of garden rubbish to the giant compost heap at the local rubbish tip.
We must decide what to do with the composter that we have in the back garden. We don't use it - can't even get to it very well these days, it is surrounded by evergreens.
Anybody local want it?

This evening I dozed. Very weary - but happy to have made a start.

Lots done today - some planned and some unplanned.
This morning we had to go to the bank, the post office and the solicitor.
There was a cheque to deposit with the bank and also bags of small change. My bag is heavy enough without carrying around fairly useless small coins, so I have pots for copper, 5ps, 10ps and 20ps.
We has £21 to put in the bank today.
We had to collect and sign for a package at the post office. I knew it was all the documentation connected with the purchase of our house.
We took all the paperwork to the solicitor, who will use it to complete actions that were decided for our wills.
Then we walked back to the bus station and came home by bus.

This afternoon I intended to finish (is it ever really finished?) sorting the paperwork accrued over nearly 50 years.
But somehow I didn't.
We have a tall cupboard in the kitchen/dining room which acts as the "office" cupboard.
It was pretty muddled.
It seems that I have more greetings cards than I could ever need - particularly with my habit of forgetting to send to people.
We also have more envelopes than I think I will ever need.
Pleased to find an old fashioned accounts book that I must have bought at a car boot sale ages ago. My current book for keeping "business" accounts was started in January 2007 and I am about to run out of pages.
So, that felt good. Tidying and clearing out is good.

I prepared an email to send off to challenge my parking penalty. I added another picture, showing the side of the card that should have been facing upwards yesterday.
I then referred to the penalty notice........"If you are unable to write or email then please phone........"
So, they do expect emails?
There was no email address to be found; so I had to phone and get that.
I grovelled a bit - always wise in these circumstances. I explained how I appreciate the vigilance of traffic wardens in sorting out people not entitled to park in disabled bays, but felt that he/she could have seen that I was entitled and must have realised that I had made a simple error.

And I made a few mince pies today - using up leftover pastry from a chicken and mushroom pie. I had not envisaged mince pies on November 26th!

It was Monday; it was a shop day.
I didn't get as much done as I planned.....blame it on the customers!
I had two boxes of things that I wanted to get written up in my stock book. I only got through one of them and all those things are now on the shelves.
Buy things customers! I really don't have room for more things.
Maybe I got all behind because of friendly chatter.
I am not sure how it came up but Steve and I were trying to remember the Cockney alphabet - his Dad had a picture book featuring it.
In the end I went online and we got various versions of it.
Customers liked it too.

A for 'Orses (Hay for Horses)

B for Mutton (Beef or Mutton)

C for Miles (See for Miles)

D for Ential (Differential)

E for Brick (Heave a Brick)

F for Vessence (Effervescence)

G for Get It (Gee, forget it!)

H for Retirement (Age for Retirement)

I for The Engine (Ivor the Engine)

J for Oranges (Jaffa Oranges)

K for Restaurant (Cafe or Restaurant)

L for Leather (Hell for Leather)

M for Sis (Emphasis)

N for Lope (Envelope)

O for The Garden Wall (Over the Garden Wall)

P for Relief (How do you spell relief)

Q for a Bus (Queue for a Bus)

R for Mo (Half a Moment)

S for As You Go (As Far As You Go)

T for Two (Tea for Two)

U for Me (You for Me)

V for La France (Vive la France)

W for the Winnings (Double you for the Winnings)

X for Breakfast (Eggs for Breakfast)

Y for Husband (Wife or Husband)

Z for Wind (Zephyr Wind)

At least this version explains them all!

Bill didn't join in with any of this, of course. He must feel like an outsider when "normal" banter and chat goes on around him.

Maybe that is the cause of noisy puffing noises and noisy tapping.

It was interesting that this morning when I turned the radio on as we drank a cup of tea in bed that the music playing was immediately recognised as Elvis Presley - All Shook Up, one of the early Elvis records. Next came music that should have been familiar - but came much later. It was Queen. We own Queen records.

Another indication that Bill's brain is trapped somewhere in the 1950s.

I shall seek out various compilation CDs of hits of the 50s.

And so the day proceeded.

It was 5 o'clock; close the shop and back to the car. Bloomin' cheek!

My crime apparently was that the car was parked in a disabled bay without a properly displayed disabled badge.

I assume the traffic warden could see the disabled badge. Maybe not.

The badge/card was fixed to the windscreen - you can still see one of the sticky corners that held it.

It has been flat on the dashboard for a while.

I fear it might have the wrong side on display!

Is it really going to cost me £35 for having the badge facing the wrong way?

You may be sure that I shall be contacting the local council offices tomorrow.

Tired now. Early to bed.

The dining room table is clear!
Today has been a day for tidying and feeling sorted.
My wardrobe has been sorted.
And above all documents have been gone through. Bill had a bit of system for all relevant paper work. But I didn't know really what was in the box files.
He doesn't know either.
I can tell you that a lot of irrelevant paperwork was still stored. Stuff relating to things way back.
I have been through lots of it and now I must resolve to make sure that I keep on top of things which are relevant.
There is still more to do.
On Tuesday I will be able to get the house deeds to the solicitor and fork out more money.
But being in control of inanimate things is the easy part.
Today - and yesterday, has been difficult.
Almost constant rhythmical noise, puffing like a steam train, tapping, clapping.....gosh some of the claps are very loud.
The kitchen floor is echoey if you pace up and down hard.
The noises cut through me.
I am sure it all sounds very minor when you read these words and I sound very impatient.
Remember - there is no conversation from Bill; except to ask me things over and over again.
I decided this afternoon that I really had to get out - maybe Bill would behave better in company. I invited his sister, Pam to join us for tea and cake at New House Farm shop.
I complicated things by needing to post a letter on our way to pick up Pam.
So he forgot where he was going and where she lived.
Then "Where are we going next?"
So many times he asked that.
He didn't behave better with Pam. He steam trained us ( strong expelling of air from the mouth ) through the journey. Tapped on the table at the cafe and made noises to a toddler. No interest or ability in any conversation.
Then as we were leaving he went to straighten chairs at the other tables where the cafe girl was beginning to clear up for the day. Yes, a desire to be helpful maybe - but inappropriate.
The only positive is that Pam can now see just how awful it can be.
If only he would actually do some of the things he knows he ought to do and says he ought to do.
He has mentioned about cleaning the car for, I would guess, three weeks now. I suggested he got out there and did it today. Surely achieving something would make him feel good.
But he didn't do it.
It was too cold! No it wasn't! Just a November day with a bit of a chilly wind.
He just froze at the thought of doing it. He cannot begin anything. I asked him to phone his sister earlier and he couldn't.
Sorry - feeling sad tonight.
And frightened. Where will this end - and when?

Sleepiness has overcome me.
It must be all the fresh air and exercise and activity.
Bill joined me at Ford for a while....well, he didn't leave the car boot sale without me. But he left me to wander alone; he was feeling chilly and his hernia starts to be painful if he walks too much. Though he did walk again later.
I found some interesting things. Though I didn't spend much.
I have an interesting Clarice Cliff bread and butter plate (picture tomorrow). and a Victorian penny lick.
You may not know what a penny lick is.
In Victorian times ice cream was bought in a penny lick. It was served in a wine glass shaped glass, but with only a very small bowl.


This one is like mine and gives you an idea.

The ice cream was licked out of the glass and the glass was returned to the seller.
Lots could go wrong, the glass could be broken or stolen.
And the returned ones were not washed before the next customer and germs were passed around.
Eventually the ice cream cone was introduced.













We had a good breakfast. We heard that our friends Harry and Brian had arrived safely in Malta.

The sun was shining and I wanted a walk by the river. Bill came too.
Walks by the river will not be what they were for some time to come. The new flood defence scheme has been started and the wide path by the river has been sealed off.


It will be completed with a well designed pedestrianised walkway and no road.

Hospital consultants are like buses!
You wait anxiously for one and then two come along together!
Today Bill saw our GP - Dr D is a recent appointment to our medical centre and he seems efficient and pleasant.
I think he checked Bill for a hernia in the text book way - which the last GP Bill saw didn't do.
She checked him laying on his back - and it disappeared.
Dr D had him stand up and cough several times.
"Yes, it's a hernia. I will arrange for you to see a consultant who will then put you on the waiting list for an operation"
It's probably quite a long waiting list.
But at least Bill is now in the queue.
From there we went into town - a few bits needed. But most of all a treat needed. We both like treats!
I had planned for a pot of tea and cake in La Rusta.
Bill decided differently - egg benedict was on his agenda. So I ordered soup....wonderful mushroom today with some of their own wonderful bread.
Being sociable in la Rusta has begun. That's good.
A young couple came in with a babe about 6 months old. Mother was not English. After some coffee, the couple left babe with an older woman - his grandmother. She explained that mother was from Peru and that very soon the family would be returning, so every extra cuddle with her baby grandson was precious.
We had a happy hour.
This afternoon we went to see our friend, Jo - she, who has shared every antiques shop I have been in.
Jo was widowed 2 years ago and life has felt hard - but she has put on a brave face and kept her interests going.
One long held desire for her has been to have a dog. Two weeks ago Rufus came into her life. He is a Norfolk terrier. He is still a very young puppy and is a complete and utter charmer.
He will always be a small dog.
Jo knows that the last 2 weeks have been tremendous for her and despite a large extended family of daughters, grandchildren and great children, Rufus has given her own life a focus.
I thought how nice it would be for Bill to spend some time with a puppy.
Well, Rufus......you only had eyes for Paula!
































I have never had a dog and presumably never will - but I could see the attraction of Rufus.































































It has felt cold today - chilly wind.
Tomorrow we will enjoy sunshine........but it will feel very cold. We will need lots of layers of clothes to feel comfortable at Ford.
But I look forward to it.

Let's begin at the beginning.
I am glad I fumed!
Fuming is good.
The one thing it showed me is how much I care about what happens to Bill. The man I have loved for all these years seemed to be being mistreated and i couldn't stand for it.
And if I have got close to a some mistreatment of him myself, then it had better stop!!!!
So this morning I was determined to sort a few things out.
Finally I got through to talk to somebody.
"Ah, yes" she said, "we are just sorting out the early January appointments."
She felt sure that Bill would be amongst them.
"But who will he see?" I demanded.
It will be Dr Serodi (or some such name).
"And is Dr Serodi a neurologist?" I wanted to know.
It turns out that she is a psychiatrist.
So far, so good.
And then seemingly from nowhere, the woman at the end of the phone was able to give me a date - January 23rd.
Hardly early January - and 2 months feels like much too long to wait.
But actually no harm will come to Bill; maybe he will deteriorate just a little more - but beyond that his physical health is well controlled.
Let's hope that his appointment tomorrow with the new doctor at our practice will help him to some treatment for his hernia. Please don't let it have popped back in!

Another happy and interesting development today - a new friend.
I almost have felt like she could be a friend for some while - love her comments and chat on facebook with an old school friend of mine.
This new friend has worked in a professional capacity with elderly people for many years and understands both dementia and autism very well.
Glad to include you S amongst my friends.

This evening I went off for an adventure on my own.
I had volunteered to be a marshall at a fireworks display that The Borough of Reigate and Banstead were holding.
This was to mark the 150th anniversary of the Borough's existence and combined it with pre Christmas late night shopping. This event was held in Redhill.
I have done marshalling for them before.
I planned to meet up with Donna at her house before the event. getting there felt like a bit of an adventure!
It was dark, raining and in the rush hour and I don't know the smaller Redhill streets. I had to phone her to put me right.....yes, OK......I was lost!
The rain stopped in time for the event.
It was a poorly advertised event. I can't see why the local council could have got that so wrong.
It was obvious that huge crowds were not going to arrive.
There were enough, though, to create some atmosphere.
Most of them stayed on the side of the field closest to the entrance.
And where was I marshalling? Why, on the other side of the field - where just a few quiet families came.
Well, that was OK - I felt I could justify relaxing the marshall's rules.
I was supposed to face "the crowd" at all times - not look at the fireworks and definitely not take any photographs.
I did look frequently over the barrier to my "crowd" just to make sure nothing was going wrong, but I also enjoyed the display. It was not a long display - 10 minutes of choreographed fireworks it was described as.




































Marshall P ready for action!


Yes, Donna and I know how to enjoy ourselves!
We were two timekeepers who vied with each other to relate the worst health histories!
We have learned from our adversities.
Donna wins the competition - her complicated health continues to need constant monitoring.



















































Street traders were hopeful of big crowds.
































Let the show begin!

Photographers will know what awkward subjects fireworks are.

I deleted almost everything.

Not the best of days.
My, it did rain hard!
The leaden skies hung over the nearly bare trees. The leaves, last week all golden and beautiful, now lay sodden on the ground.
It looked gloomy.
But we weren't going anywhere.
I enjoyed sorting out another section of Newcastle photos -see below.

I have attempted to get in touch with he memory assessment service.
Twice I have phoned and twice I was greeted by an answerphone.....and not one that responded to my pleas for information.
Looking at the memory assessment service in Horsham online, I am getting the feeling that it is run by a bunch of amateurs!
One site had some very critical comments from "customers".
The service is provided from offices, not a hospital.
I am now left very unsure about whether Bill is being offered a good service.
Does he get to see a consultant neurologist? Surely he will. And who can tell me?
I decided that perhaps the memory nurse who first assessed him might be able to help.
Could I find the letters about his appointment with her? No. I think Bill has maybe thrown them away. That is a pity because there is a full report of her assessement.
Tomorrow's job is to be persistent and not rest until I have some answers.
Fortunately Frieda, next door, has seen the same memory nurse. I am hoping that she has thrown nothing away. I need that phone number.
This evening I feel stressed and fuming!
I want the very best for my man and I am fearing right now, that he is not getting it.
I am not expecting even the best medical people to cure him - but I am expecting the best medical people to see him.
If I find that things are not good enough then I will pay for the best - though that is not something I can rush into.
People keep telling me that the sooner a diagnosis is made the better and then if medication is appropriate then the sooner he gets that the better. I have had reports of the medication making quite a difference to life, though maybe only for a year or so.
We will be seeing a GP on Friday, not one we have met before. he is new to the practice. This is an appointment about the hernia that Bill has.
I hope this man is on the ball, because I shall be expecting him to pick up the pieces in the struggle I feel I am having.
I will not have my man fobbed off and treated poorly just because he is over 70 and hasn't a clue that he needs any treatment at all.
Oh yes, I am fuming.

Our walk through "rural" Newcastle took us finally to The Biscuit Factory.
It was once a biscuit factory and has had a few incarnations since those Victorian days.
It has now been superbly renovated and has become an art gallery.
All the works  are for sale and they are all well displayed.
In the late afternoon dusk it was a pleasure to walk into a well lit beautiful building and admire the skill and creativity.









































We wandered and chattered and I snapped away at things that caught my eye, though in truth everything was a pleasure to see.











































The flamingo again - posing in front of a field of poppies.




































































Maybe my favourite work in the gallery.





































































There were a series of 4 paintings of girls.
Moody pictures.
My grand daughter could feel their stories.
She stood with them for a long time and said that she wanted to write about them.














The "girl" paintings were by Tim Cornley,













It must have been an official work of art - but I am not sure now.
Maybe it was a window.
I liked it.



























































I do love the silhouettes of winter trees - one of the glories of the winter months.
So, I loved the work of Rebecca Vincent.
If you like them too, have a look at a web site.
www.artfinder.com/rebecca-vincent


































Outdoors there was street art.......superior graffiti, I guess.




























We were heading for the nearest Metro station, close to the north bank of he Tyne.
We passed Northumbria University - a building which also counts as a work of art.






































It had been a great days walking and talking.
Newcastle always offers such a range of interesting places.
Congratulations to the city for what it does to promote creativity and conservation.
But don't abandon your libraries, Newcastle!
I am glad that I have family in Newcastle who can show me such an interesting world.