Saturday, May 17, 2014
A time to grieve
It has felt a very uncomfortable day.
I have been so uneasy.
Floods of tears this morning as I looked ahead.
Today has been the beginning of the end - the last day for Bill and I to be together. Yes, over dramatic I know.
Tomorrow Bill will go to the nursing home, and I know my man is slipping away.
He is not the man I have lived with for nearly 50 years. The grief today has been intense.
This evening, tears became tears of frustration as he banged and was exceedingly noisy. I could relish the peace of the week ahead and begin to dread his return next Sunday.
In between he has been Bill.
Sometimes dominated by dementia and sometimes quite clear headed.
His major achievement was to cut the grass, once I had reminded him where he kept the mower.
There is still so much that his damaged brain can do.
I have not felt good and failed to do lots that I should have. Packing things for his stay will have to be done tomorrow morning. I learned today that he can take a TV with him.
I have bought him some sweets when I went shopping, but forgot the chocolate digestives.
One last thing, I have set up a new Skype account with a new name for the tablet. I invite old friends to contact me at
Paula.Monk.119.
Sorry I will decline people who have never Skyped me before and definitely anybody I don't know.
Have already been chatting with a friend tonight. Haven,t got the camera sorted yet.
I have been so uneasy.
Floods of tears this morning as I looked ahead.
Today has been the beginning of the end - the last day for Bill and I to be together. Yes, over dramatic I know.
Tomorrow Bill will go to the nursing home, and I know my man is slipping away.
He is not the man I have lived with for nearly 50 years. The grief today has been intense.
This evening, tears became tears of frustration as he banged and was exceedingly noisy. I could relish the peace of the week ahead and begin to dread his return next Sunday.
In between he has been Bill.
Sometimes dominated by dementia and sometimes quite clear headed.
His major achievement was to cut the grass, once I had reminded him where he kept the mower.
There is still so much that his damaged brain can do.
I have not felt good and failed to do lots that I should have. Packing things for his stay will have to be done tomorrow morning. I learned today that he can take a TV with him.
I have bought him some sweets when I went shopping, but forgot the chocolate digestives.
One last thing, I have set up a new Skype account with a new name for the tablet. I invite old friends to contact me at
Paula.Monk.119.
Sorry I will decline people who have never Skyped me before and definitely anybody I don't know.
Have already been chatting with a friend tonight. Haven,t got the camera sorted yet.
