Wednesday, May 07, 2014


Goings on in our dementia world.

Nothing feels like routine anymore.
Each day brings new challenges and new ideas and happenings.
Yesterday was my first day as a woman who has a cleaner! I don't think I ever expected that.
To be honest, I am not sure that I felt the need to rush off out. My body is pained and I feel tired.
But, part of my plan in having Debbie and Wendy in is to provide me with a little time to myself.
I went to Asda for some shopping and then to La Rusta for a pot of tea. Bill stayed home and I hope was not in their way.
I loved arriving back home to find so much work had been done and a glorious aroma from whatever cleaning products they are using.
Jenny popped round in the afternoon.
I am so overjoyed that Jenny is able to give me the security of being cared about.
Just as the Forget me Nots do as well.
On Tuesday evenings the organisers and a couple of professionals who are helping me, meet together to mull things over and to help, advise and support anybody seeking such help. So far the Tuesday evenings are yet to be found by most people.
I am so glad that I have found it.
I am gaining knowledge and support and friendship and laughter. It is a very social evening.
We laughed a lot yesterday evening - starting with some dementia jokes and those evolved into dirty jokes, I come away feeling whole again.
It is not always easy returning home to Bill, but I return on Tuesdays feeling positive and kindly.

Today brought other challenges.
We had an appointment at the bank.
My plan was to sort out separating our joint account.
The lovely Naomi was so able and kind. Bill signed to start his new account. He will almost never use it himself.
Banking is done on line and I will keep tabs on what is happening to his money.
I must arrange to have his pensions and the attendance allowance paid into his account. This money will then be used to pay for extra care - unless his total drops down below the cut off point; then social services must find the funds.
But lets get the package of care established first and then quibble about who is paying for it.
Another strand of care is beginning to come together. Next Wednesday Bill will go to a day care centre. This is a trial day for both him and the home. I am assuming that it will become permanent and when it does I shall want Mondays to be added to his day care regime.
Bill was reasonably behaved in the bank - at least Naomi managed to be tolerant.
So I said I would take him to La Rusta.......but all sense of control had gone and I felt distressed again at the noise.
This evening I left Bill alone for longer than I expected.
I was very late in to have my MRI scan.
But honestly it felt good. I could  close my eyes and keep still and feel secure that nobody could get at me or upset me for the duration.
I shall know on Monday what the experts can read on the scans. What will be, will be.
I arrived home from the evening out alone to be greeted by Bill's noise.
I couldn't take it. I really lost it with him.
The days are gone when I could have hoped for sympathetic words of support.
He did admit that he doesn't want me to die!
Tomorrow afternoon we will go to the monthly D-Cafe.
Time for bed.