Wednesday, April 30, 2014


Another day.

When faced with a crisis we tend to think......"one day at a time"
There have been enough crises in my life maybe for me to have truly learned that lesson.
I am surprising myself by being calm and cheerful.
The future is, the future and there is nothing I can do about what will be.
I still have heard nothing about the MRI scan.

So today stands alone - hardly connected to the future or the past even.
I can tell you though that pain has dominated the day.
I found walking, lifting, bending and twisting hard. I walked clutching the offending area under my rib cage - putting pressure on it eases things a little bit.
Pancreatitis pain can be very powerful. Maybe it peaked today? Or maybe it is reminding me that I must be so, so careful about what I ask my pancreas to do.
I don't know about you, but I find it very easy to pop things into my mouth without thinking.
I did that yesterday with some chocolates in a box of celebrations.
Just one........and then just one more!
I had too many.
Sorry pancreas, I won't do it again.

At lunch time today I went out on my own for a while. What a delight to wander around Asda without Bill in tow.
I went on to the hospital for blood to be taken for testing.
This afternoon Wendy, our social worker came round. The pain meant I didn't take in quite as much as I should have done.
But what I can see is that care is being slotted into place quite rapidly. I really did mean to leave decision making until after that day in the future when I might know what must happen to me.
I shall have somebody coming to the house on Monday afternoons, when I am at the shop.
Debbie will be my cleaner on Tuesday afternoons.
I think we have agreed that Bill will go to a day care centre at Cherries on Wednesdays., the care home built on the site of my old village school.
Bill is not keen, but I think has accepted that it would be a good idea to get to know people at the home.
Don't kid yourself, Paula - he has forgotten that we have even discussed it. But he did agree to give it a try.
Wendy was alarmed that Bill is driving. I have been monitoring things very carefully and I feel sure he is safe.
But I do know that even a small prang could prove a big problem; even if the other party was in the wrong they would be able to claim that Bill shouldn't be driving.
His driving assessement, which I had to re-schedule will be in 3 week's time.
But Wendy couldn't leave it at that. She has contacted our doctors. Dr D rang late afternoon to ask to see Bill tomorrow.
I am assuming that Dr D might tell Bill that he shouldn't drive until after the assessment.

So, another day in dementialand.
A sunny and quite warm day too.
Much easier to find pleasure and beauty around me on such a day.
Two appointments tomorrow - clinical psychologist and Dr D.