Sunday, April 27, 2014



The day was OK to begin with.
Bill came into my bed to have a morning cup of tea and he watched kid's TV. He was quiet.
Later we went out into town - maybe that was his downfall.
We went to The Mall - very rarely go there; on this wet Sunday afternoon it was crowded and noisy.
I am trying to increase the number of objects that Bill can finger and manipulate to keep him occupied.I think these are fun.

They can be pulled all sorts of ways.

Bill started cackling in The Mall. But we popped into a couple more shops and then went to La Rusta.
"Get the funny men out and show Alex" I suggested.
But he didn't and banged the table and the wall instead.
So, not relaxing at all.
Bill slept a while when we got in and I felt numb and exhausted too.
No noise when Bill is in his safe nest. I tend to allow him to sleep a bit too long I think.
My niece (with an autistic son) had put an interesting video on facebook, whilst we were out,  trying to show how an autistic person might perceive a trip to the supermarket.
The film was deliberately out of focus and the noise was intense.
Is that how a person with dementia might also perceive such an environment?
My niece explained that her son can go into meltdown - either protest with temper and screaming or maybe he just switches off from reality.
Did this happen to Bill?
Yes, it's possible. Lesson learned I think - don't take him to The Mall. It's scary!
The noise continued through dinner - neither of us felt at all hungry anyway.
The noise Bill makes just shuts me down - can't think, can't move, can't eat. Except suddenly I was thinking about my  appointment at the hospital tomorrow morning. And that's scary too.
On evenings like these I begin to feel desperate again.
At least I have tomorrow to myself - about 3 hours at the hospital and then I will go to the shop. There was nobody able to cover for me or anybody I could pay. Steve will have to manage alone until I arrive.
I am beginning to worry now about leaving Bill for so long. I must get something into place for Mondays as soon as possible.
Right I want to climb into my safe nest now, after night time pain killer - the pancreatitis has not yet gone away.