Tuesday, April 22, 2014


My evening out.

I think I will forget about the daylight hours - not much fun really.
The pain is dragging me down and making me tired and fragile.; Bill drags me down too........but you know all that.
I had an evening out planned - no, not clubbing or anything like that; it was better.
The Forget me Not Group has a Tuesday evening session where carers can go to socialise a bit or to sort out problems, No wonder we were late finishing - there are lots of problems.
The  result of the evening is that Bill and I now have a social worker working on our behalf.
Wendy knows the ropes and has told me of many ways that Bill, and therefore me, can be helped.
I look forward to the time when some of it can be in place and is part of our routine.
There are day care centres or alternatively we could have individuals in the house with Bill or taking him out.
It was suggested that we get in a gardener and cleaner once a week - maybe Monday afternoon so that there are people about when I am at the shop.
And Wendy has filled in the long, long form to claim attendance allowance.
This is wonderful because this will help fund care and support.
And I have been advised about the basics of finance when it comes to care homes and day centres. I thought if we, as joint bank account holders, were limited to a certain amount of savings to get government funded help.
That is correct. But if I have a separate account, that money is not taken into consideration. My money is none of their business!
So what I must now do is alter the financial arrangements we always thought best to have and split the money between us, making sure that Bill doesn't go over the specified amount. I may need some Bill signatures - but I am sure he can do it to order and not even know what I am doing. I have been in charge of our affairs for 9 months now anyway and Bill shows no interest in knowing anything about it. Just as well - I am not as diligent as he was! He always had a little book in which income and outgoings were written and then ticked at the end of the month with the bank statement. I check the same things on-line and write down nothing.
So today nothing has actually changed and yet, in a way everything has changed.
I feel somewhat empowered because somebody has been able to tell me what to do. The road ahead will continue to feel hard, but I now know there are ways to ease it, for at least some of the time.
And the result of all this is that I feel happy tonight.
Wendy will come and see us next week - by which time I shall have sent off the attendance allowance form (book).
We also have people coming on Thursday - the clinical psychologist and Bronwen. I actually forget who Bronwen is, but she's from the memory assessment service.
I would like to know how a psycholgist would assess Bill. Just maybe, sometime, he could have some drugs to calm his behaviour. There may be side effects or future harm as a result of taking them. Well the future can be disregarded I reckon if Bill and I could get a more comfortable way of living now,
Their visits will break up the day - but nobody has been as special and supportive as the Forget me Not group.
Those people have become my lifeline and will save me from drowning - along with all the people (family and friends) who are putting themselves out to make sure I am OK and offering their time with practical help.
Maybe now, I can find me again. You know, the one who looks on the bright side of life as much as possible; the one who can turn negatives in life into positives.
Time for some relaxing sleep, I think.