Sunday, May 04, 2014


Bluebell walk.

I had planned to get up and go to the car boot sale at Sayers Common. But after a disturbed night I woke up quite late - not too late really. I am guessing that I actually chose not to go. After 5 weeks of non activity I am finding it hard and scary to think about getting going again.
But we did get going.
We needed something different, so I took Bill to Newhouse Fam Shop and tea rooms for a snack. In truth, we did miss La Rusta for the ambience, friendliness and quality and service.
I had read on their facebook page that bluebell woods were close by and so we went for a walk.
I ordered Bill to take some photos - not just ones of me. He found that hard and maybe a bit scary. I thought he would be like a child, running hither and thither snapping everything he passed. I had promised him that it didn't matter how many he took and that I would sort them out on the computer.
I think he took about 4 extras plus me today. We'll try for more tomorrow.
Bill really should try to do things that he feels proud of.
Here is our walk.

This was taken by Bill.
Once upon a time he would have wanted an image better than that.
But I just would like to see any sort of images and that he knows I am sharing them with you.

Bill can take good pictures of me. I help him by knowing how to pose and telling him where to stand.

Nice smile, Bill.

Back to the farm shop and tea rooms.

It was time to go home and rest and drink.
My mouth gets so dry at the moment; I am guessing that the strong painkillers are causing that.
Bill went and had a lie down.
He came down an hour later, much confused.
He's done it before - worried that he must have gone to bed in his day clothes.
He asked what I was cooking.
"Dinner?" he queried. "what's the time?"
I told him, getting on for half past six.
"Not breakfast time yet, then?"
"No Bill - it's the evening"
"No - can't be; I just got up"
Oh his confusion was hurting him. "If it's evening,"he asked,"then what have I been doing all day?"
I told him, showed him some of the pictures, which I was working on.
They seemed to mean nothing to him.
He was trying to work things out and he was bothered.
He admitted that he must be losing his mind.
Bothered and straight into hitting himself.
I decided to lie!
"Bill, you know how I say I can't cope well with all the noise and that it makes me feel that I am losing my mind"
He does sort of know that.
I then told him that the noise and the hitting must be hurting his brain too. I told him his brain needs to feel calm.
For a brief while he seemed to accept me telling him to stop. I told him I loved him and wanted to make things good for him and I should be helping him live more peacefully.
Tomorrow it will all be forgotten of course.
Tomorrow we are going to the Ifield May Fair. I shall ask him to take lots of photos again.