Grandma P's Ramblings Through Life

Fascinating!
The family history programme this evening was really fascinating.
It ended with the Larry Lamb, this week's subject, expressing how discovering about his grandparents and how their lives had evolved made him feel stronger.
I can echo that.
In the last years so much has been discovered that was almost lost.
Finding an aunt I never knew of certainly strengthened me.
From her history I began to understand more of my grandparents.
And this week I am learning about my parents and I am finding it stimulating and strengthening.
I have now sorted out almost all that my father wrote and have the letters in chronological order.
Some time tomorrow I can do the same for all that my mother wrote.
It has been interesting to read a few letters from the battered suitcase that had been written by others.
Have we misjudged Granny Ware? She didn't know how to deal with her husband's family well and none of her step children felt love or respect for her. I sense that she, in her own way, felt affection for my mother and brother - the 2 she had dealings with.

It has not been all family history today.
We went into town this morning. There were a few things I wanted to get. Bill decided that he needed socks. Then he came home and cleared out his sock drawer and gave me 12 pairs of socks that he didn't want! I am not sure how many I actually want.
Tomorrow morning we will get up early and go to Ford and Littlehampton.
It will be good to be out. The weather will be fair, I think.
Then I really must sort out purchases - the stuff bought at Walton on Thames on Sunday is still strewn across the table.

A snippet of news from Ashley - who still has lots of boxes full of things from their Bangor home. He is waiting to unpack until they have the extension to unpack things into.
Hunted through boxes for the kitchen scales and found our fruit bowl as well. Unfortunately the removal men had not emptied the fruit bowl before wrapping and packing it. On March 9th. Which didn't make for the most pleasant discovery.

We got up late to a day when neither of us felt like doing much.
Actually, that's not fair. Bill was busy this morning mowing lawns.
And he has been round with the vacuum cleaner.
I decided to look through a few more of my parent's letters........several hours later, I realise that I have already sorted a great deal.
I am almost at the position where I shall have to see if there is much point attempting to make complete letters out of all the loose pages - dozens and dozens of them.
At this point, I thank my Dad. After the war, which is when he was called up to the army and working at a boring clerk's job, he received daily letters from my mother and he must have stapled pages together.
Dad wrote daily to Mum. Before I was born life wasn't so bad for him - he loved the land and enjoyed his time working on farms. The time after he had been called up was hard for him - leaving me wondering which of them needed his discharge on compassionate grounds the most!
My mother's letters are a great read, describing her life and mine during the time when she was living in a remote cottage, after Dad had been sent to Cheshire and North Wales.
It was a lonely life and she worked really hard. She had some friends amongst others who lived way out in that country spot and they seemed to have supported each other.
I have very vague memories of the place and some of the people. We left there when I was just 5.
She must have walked for miles - the nearest bus stop was some distance away.
From there she could reach Tunbridge Wells and on to her family home in Tonbridge.
I am learning lots from this project - mostly about who my mother was.
But there are wonderful snippets about me.
Oh my!
I won a beautiful baby competition in 1946!
I won a yellow plastic duck!
I wonder if my Dad approved of my having been entered! I haven't yet found the reply to that letter.
I have enjoyed reading about the cat named Winnie - who seemed to produce lots of kittens.
I was really pleased to realised that my Aunt Valerie had spent quite a bit of time at the cottage.
There is much to mull over - and later to discuss with Roger.
But Roger had not yet been born (Robin neither) when all these letters were written - so I guess that between us we will still not be sure of some things.
But I am sure that this project is good for me.
I feel a tremendous bond now with my mother, which had been missing. I have spent my adult life wondering if a good mother daughter relationship would have developed as I became a young mother - I always liked to think so.
And now - only 3 years short of my 70th birthday, I can be happy about my mother, despite her sometimes hard and much too short life. I feel like that she would be proud of who I am now and how I have worked through things.

Soon I must return to my own reality and continue to make something of my own world.
Reality......only 22 days until we fly to Thailand. Hooray! I need some warmth and sunshine.
Today they announced that this has been the coolest summer since 1993.

That was quite some athletics meeting!
Trackside was filled with enthusiastic young (well, mostly young) athletes and their families.
There were 58 races - ranging from 75 metres to 3,000 metres.
The starters and marksmen efficiently organised all competitors and races followed, one after the other, at quite a rate.
As chief timekeeper I found little time to spare - getting everybody's times written down, results to the recorders and be ready for the next race  gave no time for dithering.
I had not time either for checking the electric results as they came through.
The chief really should do that so as to sort out any queries straight away.
But one query has slipped through - I am quite sure that those dealing with the computer have given 2 athletes times which are a second too slow.
I will have to sort that tomorrow now.
I spent some time this evening going through all the results.
I could then sort out my own performance...... not the best I have ever achieved.
My average error was 4.5 hundredths of a second.
The chief timekeeper can often put in a poorer performance because of all the other responsibilities. Well, that's my excuse!
The signals from the starters' guns were not good - we need a strong visual signal and often all we got was a wispy puff of white smoke carried off on the breeze.
It was a very good meeting - and a very good team of timekeepers who worked so well together.
I have enjoyed it.
I think that this was our last meeting of the season. We shall miss the Under 13's final next Sunday.
I felt quite sad - this has been a year when I have actually felt enthusiastic about my involvement with the sport and athletics people.
I still feel I am floating on adrenalin - though I know I am tired.
I think Bill is exhausted - he has had too many aches and pains today.

I have fitted in some more letter reading - a second one from my great granny has appeared and a couple from my Uncle Billy to my mother.
Unfortunately the pile of pages of written material which, as yet, seem to have no connection with any other pages is growing.
I will look to sorting them out after I have every completed letter filed away.
Time for bed.

No, we are not wandering in the country.
We are walking in a huge park, close to the River Thames just to the west of London. This is Bushy Park, established as a hunting park for HenryVIII. The king had built Hampton Court Palace adjacent to the park.





Ha! A reindeer with 2 bodies!
A push me pull you!









We took dozens of pictures of the deer.

You can see that we had not actually moved far from the car park.









I took a picture of Bill taking a picture of me taking a picture of the deer and Bill taking a picture!










Many of the pictures here today are from Bill's camera. I think the settings on mine were not quite right. I do have this habit of knocking settings!
But here is a deer picture of mine.





























The park was beautifully landscaped and 300 years ago a large pond with a fountain in the middle was included in the plans.
It has recently been renovated.
It is known as the Diana Fountain - not that Diana!
It might be the goddess of old, Diana - she was, of course, the goddess of hunting.

Bill called it "They Went That Way".
A friend in Canada commented that they seem very placid geese to stand still and pose for the camera.
I guess the geese, like the deer, are accustomed to people.












We crossed what is now a busy road to Hampton Court Gardens......through the Lion gate.


















The main entrance to the palace was covered in scaffolding and draped material to keep the weather off - not very impressive for the tourists who arrive in droves in the summer high season.
So here is a web picture of Hampton Court as we would want to see it.
The sky looked very much like that. We had already spent some time sheltering under a tree in the park, as toreential rain fell.


The chimneys were amazing.
I wonder if all 800 rooms had fireplaces!

































We walked back to Bushy Park - stopping agin to shelter from a heavy shower.































The stream had been created as part of the landscaping.

Labels: Places in England

Goodnight!
That's my body talking!
And my sleepy brain.
We have had a good day and pictures will follow......tomorrow morning.
We left home and went to a car boot sale at Walton on Thames. I liked the venue, but in truth we didn't buy very much. What we did find is strewn across the dining room table.
We had breakfast at The Regent - a converted cinema.
Then we took a walk in Bushy Park and Hampton Court Gardens - and along the River Thames.
Mostly the weather was good enough. We were forced to spend a while sheltering under a tree in Bushy Park - and again later by Hampton Court Palace.
By 2 o'clock the rain had seemed to settle in - but we could see that there had been no rain south of Dorking.
Home to doze.
And finally into a deep sleep for me.
Time for a cup of tea and then back to sleeping - this time in bed.

This will be brief - hard to tear myself away from new addiction!
I felt so good about having read some of the letters in the suitcase yesterday that a feeling grew that I owed it to my mother to sort them out and allow for yet more understanding to grow in me.
I owe it to myself as well.
But what a task!
I have described it as a combination of family history, a grand romance and a jigsaw puzzle.
Some letters (of several pages) come in their entirety - but many more are found as parts of letters and loose pages.
And there are thousands of pages - letters were posted back and forth daily.
When I have found all the complete letters and sorted them into years, I might then be able to unite loose pages with their rightful other pages to produce more complete letters.
I have found one or two letters written by my maternal grandparents to my mother as well.
All this will be shared with relevant people within the family of course.

I was away from this work for some hours though - timekeeping.
Today there was an athletics match in Division 1 of the National League. Just as in football these days - Division 1 doesn't actually mean the topmost league.
In the case of athletics it means the second level of competition.
The standards are high - the highest we have seen for quite some time.
The standard of competition is actually too high for Crawley just now - and we were relegated.
Next year we may well be the stars of Division 2 and go straight back up again.
Today there were more than enough timekeepers - and electric timekeeping too.
I was not particularly impressed with my own standards today - too many hundredths of a second error for my liking.
I worked with a very lovely man today - name of Bill. You might know him!

Dr Who returned to TV - it is crazy and weird and surreal. And yet - a completely positive experience. The current writers and directors and actors have created something special.

Labels: family

I was wanting some more photos today - of birthday cards and flowers.
But we didn't get there.
I have idled this morning too much.

This afternoon I went to see Frieda - I am worried about her state of health. She has been to see a dermatologist about a scabby growth on her nose.
The diagnosis seems to have been pretty well instant - but Frieda doesn't know what she has got.
Poor Frieda - she couldn't understand why he asked so many questions. In particular she has no idea why he asked her about her sun bathing habits when she was young.
He outlined 2 courses of action.
She could go to Guildford every day for 2 weeks for treatment or she could have it removed, although it will leave a big scar.
She can't imagine what the teatment at Guildford would be and feels it would be too much for her - the journey and everything.
And I don't think she realises how big the scarring will be - because she feels she won't mind it at all.
She can't understand what all the fuss is about because it doesn't hurt. It has taken a lot of bullying from her daughter to get this process started.

Of course thoughts of Guildford and cancer take me back - to earlier times for both me and my mother.

Oh the past......it does keep a hold over us doesn't it?
I couldn't resist a quick look at some of the letters written by my parents, stored in a suitcase.
These go back to the war years of their courtship and marriage.
Some are extremely personal indeed.
Mostly I have been reading those written by my mother.
Mother died when I was 22 - so for at least half of my life to that point I had been the awkward adolescent; a time when relationships between mothers and daughters can be fragile.
I didn't know how to understand her - and she didn't really know how to relate to me. I can recall just little glimmers of being close.
Maybe if she had had the chance to live - like I have had, she might have reached a point when she felt much stronger, less vulnerable and more able to feel confident with others.
Her 1940s letters reveal deep love for my father and for me. This evening I feel close to her and feel I have a better understanding of who she was.
I wish we could have shared more - but life and time ran out for us.
But I think that this trip into their lives should be over. The amount written was phenomenal and the papers are in an extreme muddle.
I am glad to have dipped into their young world - but I have to let it go.
But reading the letters is addictive - just one more! Perhaps a few more before bed time.....and then back to the reality of my world and relationships.

Yesterday's birthday day out.

After some hours of torrential rain we opted for a trip to Worthing.
The forecast for the afternoon had been that it would be dry.

Our first port of call was the museum and art gallery.


We have to say we were not inspired by this museum.
There was lots to see - but somehow we felt we had seen it all before in other museums. We have seen early history artefacts - it was just that most of these had beenfound in the Worthing locality.
It might have helped if they had not forbidden photography - we would have felt more interactive with the exhibits.
The costume section was good.

The art gallery section was a bit bleak. There was nothing I would have chosen for me.




There was advertised a particular exhibition by Christine Forbes, titled Trees in their Landscape. Surely that should be good!
It wasn't that I didn't like the pictures - I just didn't understand the presentation.
Surely, if one is proud of a picture one doesn't just tear off a bit of masking tape and stick it to the wall.


Yes - I broke the rules and took a photograph!













Lunchtime next!
We headed almost next door to the Sir Timothy Shelley, which is a Wetherspoon's pub. Sir Timothy was an early Worthing dignitary and the son of the poet.

Bill played with the camera as we waited for our meal. Thursday is curry club day.
I opted for the sweet potato, chick pea and spinach; this comes with lots of good rice, poppadums, naan bread and mango chutney and you can order from a goodly selection of drinks (apple and mango for me). All for £4.99.










We walked down to the sea front and onto the pier after lunch. There were few people on the beach! And it was very breezy on the pier.
The end of the pier - like a 1930's art deco ship.










Two window pictures - I took the deck chairs, whilst Bill saw the potantial in the cracked window pane.

Worthing was bustling with shoppers and I was struck by the fantastic floral displays throughout the town.
We decided that it would be good to stop for a cup of tea.
We had called in earlier at a disused church where  there was a table top antiques fair. We had seen nothing to buy, but noted the cafe - very busy at lunchtime.
It was a lovely place to stop.


There was music gently playing, which I enjoyed. It was an album by Turin Brakes - heard the name before, but didn't know if this was a person or a group.
It is a modern folk duo and I shall look out for more.


There has to be a Silly Billy picture!













After a very pleasant and relaxing time, we moved on to explore the side streets aound St Paul's - the cafe.


That is not St Paul's at the end of the street.
There had been 2 rival  C of E churches about 100 yards apart.














The street would have been a delightful place to live. Harold Pinter, the playwright, obviously thought so.





Delightful cottages by Christ Church.


Just round the corner was this delightful old cottage.

All this is tucked away very close to the bustling town centre - we could see Marks and Spencers on the road at the end of this narrow old street.





Whatever this building had been, there was a need for renovation.
It had the air of an old school, or hospital.









Then, round the back of it, we found....



















Next door to Provident House was another church with another literary connection.












No. 55.

















It was clear that Christ Church was having some work done on it. We walked around it through the graveyard.
A man was just wheeling his bike away, but stopped to talk.
And then took his keys from his pocket and decided to show us inside.

There was an interesting gallery each side. Opposite this one was  a gallery filled with organ pipes.








Our guide told us lots of history and then insisted us on showing us the new building work (under the gallery) where a fanatstic section of kitchen and toilets was being installed.

The afternoon was turning to evening.  We wended our way back past the museum and town hall.




















I mentioned the floral displays.
Baskets and boxes of flowers adorned every lamp post and bus stop and even the central reservations of the dual carriage way out of town.


Traffic lights must have been at red to get a car free road. It was rush hour time.





And that was my birthday for 2011.

Labels: Sussex

Many thanks and many apologies!

Thank you to all the many people who have sent splendid birthday wishes and cards.
And sorry - I shall be sharing our doings (the pictures on the blog) of the day tomorrow.
These days I tend to sort the photos and put them onto facebook first.
The evening has now crept away and I am tired.


The weather had changed our plans - torrential rain for a good while this morning.
I actually went and had my blood test done first thing.
Then we went to Worthing. We visited the museum and art gallery - which somehow failed to inspire us very much.
We had lunch in a Wetherspoon's pub - it was curry club day.
What a bargain - sweet potato, chickpea and spinach curry with lovely rice poppadums, naan bread and mango chutney and a drink - all for £4.99.
Then we walked into the town and out onto the pier. Rather breezy - but not raining.
We stopped on the way back for a cup of tea in a disused church, which was lovely.
Then walked the side streets and back streets behind - and very lovely and interesting they were too.

There has also been sadness.
My friend Marion rang to wish me a happy birthday - and after ascertaining that I was fine and she was fine, I asked after her husband.
Definitely not fine. I had had my suspicions last time we were with them.
He has only a very few weeks - maybe months now to live.
This thought has been close to the surface of my being for much of the day.

It has taken a long time - but at last I have discussed the results of my bone scan with Dr. O.
Yes, my bones have lost density and structure and I now have 2 more lots of medication which will be taken for life.
As I predicted, I now have a form for a blood test to look again at parathyroid function, Vitamin D and calcium levels and also pancreatic function.
I will get this done on Friday.
The results will take about 2 weeks, so I hope to at least know and have some plans in place for future treatment before we go to Thailand.
And I had my B12 injection.
Dr O is envious of our future thrip to Thailand - he feels Thailand stands alone as being somewhere extra special and unique. And this from a man who has just returned from a holiday in Mexico.

After our shopping trip this morning, I was drawn to look at some of the family letters that Jenny passed to me yesterday.
I haven't begun to look at the suitcase full.
Most of these were written during my mother's final illness - some were written by me.
This is not a good place for me to be.
Suddenly I wanted no more of it.
I was so happy to return to the present - the past can be a difficult country to visit.
I do not belong in that past land.

I hope Roger and Sue have enjoyed their day out to celebrate her birthday.
The weather today has been better than we are promised for tomorrow, when we will go out to celebrate my birthday.
The plan is to go to Ford and then to Petworth. Petworth is full of up market antiques shops - too up market for me. We will visit Petworth House - hopefully there will be enough of a break in the rain to enjoy the grounds as well as the house.
We look forward to a good lunch too.

An interesting, lazy day.
Lazy yes - but still I nodded off to sleep after dinner this evening.
At the moment, Jenny is doing lots of clearing out. I think my father must have saved almost every scrap of paper written by him or sent to him.
Jenny is carefully going through it all and keeping what seems relevant, interesting or potantially interesting or useful to somebody.
I am glad to say that she has found more of the stuff I years ago sorted out from the Mitchell home, with thought of it all going to the museum society. I knew there had been more than we found in our loft.
Some of the papers no longer feel relevant to Jenny - and never were.
There is a suitcase full of letters sent between my parents. I haven't looked at any yet - I shall be moved to read them, but I feel it might be Roger's job to store them; if we feel that they should be stored - I am not sure who of the next generation would want them.
Being self centred (aren't we all?), I have already browsed through my old school reports.
Ifield Grammar School assessed me and judged me and found me wanting.
I guess this is very much as I wanted it to be - I had no ambitions to be a completely co-operative student.
I can look back to see that the school was also found wanting, for no attempts that I can remember were ever made to help me find a sense of direction. There was no flexibility - I could take their education or leave it.
I rather floundered somewhere between conformity and rebellion.
Looking back, I rather regret not pursuing out and out rebellion!
The comments on the report show their sense of bafflement.
Most people, I guess would look back with pride at praise and high grades.
I wonder why I look back with pride at " Rather disappointing, although she does, spasmodically, try".
Oh, and Roger don't think you get away with it!
I have here reports of yours, which I will give you in a couple of weeks.
These are junior school reports only.
I also have a wind up gramophone and records for you.
I also have Robin's reports, which I think Michaela would like to have.
Time for sleeping again soon.

I have worked hard today in Dorking - though not with my own business, or indeed, hardly at all with customers.
I took it upon myself to clean the kitchen.
At one stage I felt I was taking over some responsibility for keeping the kitchen neat and tidy; but others began to bring in towels and I wondered if I was pushing somebody else out.
But I was noticing that towels were never taken home to wash.
So today I began again at looking after the place.
Oh how I wish I had not even looked in the cutlery tray!
The back room was once a cafe, so I presume that cleanliness and hygiene were very much part of the cafe organiser's routine. But that closed over 3 years ago.
Today I did something that nobody has done for those 3 years - I lifted cutlery to reveal the congealed black gunge at the bottom of the cutlery tray.
Well, having looked, I had to do something about it - and wash all the cutlery.
I think the tidy cleaner kitchen will be noticed - but I doubt that anybody would know of the cutlery tray!
But I feel proud of making a difference and I don't need it to be noticed.
Though I wish that people would wash up properly - rather than a quick rinse under the cold tap.
Sales have been a bit sparse today - there were none for me! But Bill sold a model car.
We watched a very interesting programme about snow this evening - and yes, the wrong type of snow actually does exist!
We were reminded that the worst avalanche that has occurred in this country was in Sussex - Lewes.
I think I had a notion in my head that this was no more than a country legend, despite cycling past The Snow Drop Inn very many times. I am happy to have it confirmed as fact.
I wonder what is going on and will go on in Libya. Is Gadaffi going to end as a damp squib or has he got something up his sleeve?

Sunday - a day of rest?
Not likely!
I seem to have been busy for much of the day.
We were at Pease Pottage by 7 o'clock.
There were purchases to prepare for sale. I had bought cigarette card albums this morning and each lot needed to go in a cellophane fronted bag, which I cut down to size.
I am glad I found them. I had looked at some yesterday at Ford - the seller wanted £10 each for them. I smiled at him and told him I sell them for just £5 - so wouldn't be buying.
"Oh, where do you sell?" he quickly asked.
If he should call, I am now well stocked - having bought for £1 a time this morning.
I also bought books - including a complete set of Wainwright's Lake District guides. Maybe somebody might buy them as a Christmas present.
I have also been dealing with EBay.
I had sent the invoices yesterday, but nothing was wrapped and there were payments to deal with.
All done now.
It feels like bed time - and at almost half past nine, I think I will grab a drink and then make my way under the duvet.

I felt a little nervous going to Ford - the last visit had propelled my brain back 20 years to a time when I was very ill indeed.
But, whatever is going on right now, I am far from that world now.
We both bought some interesting things.





























Amongst my items are 2 diaries.
One is a 1964 Eagle diary; I was disappointed that it didn't contain the random thoughts and doings of a young teenage boy! For some reason this diary was taken over by a middle aged/old ( I am guessing) woman. She started the year unwell for some weeks and recovered to a life of church, the midweek social club, laundry and shopping with some visits to and from people she knew - particularly the trusty Pat and leslie who did her weekely shopping for her when she was ill.
The other diary is much more interesting. It is for the year 1893.
The pages at the front have some notes and lists - preparations for a journey.
The writer - CRA Sutton - seems to have been a ship's doctor accompanying passengers and crew from Cardiff to Australia. I can't read his writing well, so can't make out the name of the ship. But I think he returned on a ship called Coptic.

The name of the ship is in the second line - looks a bit like Zhawance.
Any ideas.























The diary writer read a great deal on the voyage and played cricket.
He administered morphine to the captain when his gout got too bad. The diary needs lots of study  - more than I have given it thus far.

We breakfasted in Littlehampton, of course.
Then walked by the river along to the pier, where I enjoyed sitting in the sunshine and watching people on the beach - an air of positive happiness makes me feel good. I guess most beaches are positive places.

Littlehampton tends to throw us little dramas to experience.
Today's was almost certainly leading to a death.

It maybe doesn't look like a tragedy.
But somehow this pigeon landed in the river.
He did not have the ability to take off from the water.
Somehow he flapped his wings and with great effort got to the side of the river; but it is a harbour estuary with steep boarded sides - so there was nowhere for him to go - nowhere he could take off from.
We could see he was shivering with cold or fear.

I have very little to show for feeling so tired.
I know I have falled asleep three times during the day.
I will be so glad if Dr O could get to the bottom of this.
I did some ironing, but was very happily interrupted by Frieda.
I don't iron very much - just our outer clothing. It seemed to take an age.

I feel almost nervous at the prospect of going to Ford. The last time I went there, I failed to get round all the stalls because I felt so rough.
Surely, things won't be so bad tomorrow?

And hopefully, tomorrow I shall have both energy and something interesting to write about.

We missed this drama at Littlehampton during the week.

It was dragged off the next day, with a high tide.

Thursdays are not like Mondays......the days in the shop have different feelings about them.
On Monday we sometimes feel we are leant on a bit too much, but I, at any rate, feel very comfortable.
When we help on Thursday I tend to feel like I am walking on egg shells - trying to make sure how Jill likes things done.
She is a lovely person and I get on pretty well with her, but she is a stickler for her rules and is very protective of the shop - having been in it longer than the rest of the dealers.
I think she would have been pleased that I spent a lot of time working on my own at the back of the shop.
She likes to think that customers are being watched.
The task I set myself today was to go through my stock file and reduce the prices of everything I have had for a year or more.
I don't like to cross out old prices and write on a new price - that would seem to convey to a potential customer that nobody has wanted it. So I make new labels for all reductions.
It's not really hard work, but today I have felt tired and muzzy headed.
I finished off by taking a few pictures of my section.

A general view from the back door.


























Now looking towards the back door.




























A section to interest the men.


























The nursery and the kitchen.



























China and glass of all sorts.



























Life is good there and sales continue - selling something each day, pretty well.

Today has felt really quite chilly - are we almost at the end of the summer?
Surely the next month will bring us more sunshine.
There was rain today - but nothing like that which Bournemouth to the west of her received.

Labels: shop and stock