Thursday, March 06, 2008
6th March Another anniversary.
Today is another of those significant days that occur at this time each year.
It is now 41 years since I lost my Mother.
It was a strange day.
I had sort of known in my heart that on the previous day, a Sunday, that my visit to her in the nursing home was kind of significant. I wouldn't have been able to say that I knew she was close to death because that word hadn't been used to me at all and I hadn't (to use modern jargon) internalised the idea.
So, on the Monday morning, I went off to my teaching job as usual, not knowing that already my Mother had left us.
Dad had work to do that day too - and as he felt well prepared for Mum's death he saw no reson to let people down.
He came to see me when school had finished to tell me the news.
I wish we had been able to spend the day together and maybe I should have been with him when he registered the death. But that was not Dad's way and after all this time I am happier to accept that.
Mum had decided that her body should be left for medical research and so we had no funeral. Dad would not have considered a memorial service was necessary because he had no Christian faith. He had said his good byes - but I had not.
Somehow my young mother just disappeared from view.
So each year on this day I find myself thinking so many farewell thoughts.
People always say that I look a lot like her.
The picture on the left was taken when Mother was about 11. On the right I am about 9 years old.
Children don't seem to have changed much in the years between those photos being taken. But today's children just don't look like we did. Uniforms are much more casual and easier to wear than the navy blue gym slip and tie.
So, yet again, I let my Mother go. Life has moved on for me and the world.
This morning we idled rather. The night and first thing this morning had been bad - not one, but two bag problems.
Bother.
I had got rather used to life in that regard being easy.
This afternoon we took our husky voices to to Handcross to spend some time with Marion and Robin. They have been trying to clear out their loft and we looked through some of the things.
I felt that the best thing to do was to take most of it to a favourite charity shop.
I have taken a box of Midwinter china and a book and an cigarette card album to see if I can make a few pounds for them.
They have, stowed away, one of the most collected Midwinter ranges and I felt it might be best to see what one of the local auction houses might suggest.
They also have some wall furniture made in Denmark, that they had about 1960.
Once again perhaps a photograph to an auction house might tell how much demand there might be.
It was good to be out - I guess we don't do enough of it really.
This evening we have attempted almost nothing and we need an early bed time.
It will be nice to be bug free some time soon.
