Tuesday, December 10, 2013

 

Floundering

I guess I needed a day of doing not too much - but now feel like I am floundering in a sea of nothingness.
I have not yet got out of the habit of waiting until Bill and I can take breakfast together.
This means I wait for hours, doing very little.
I must change that.
This morning I finally got Bill out of bed by suggesting he got up to come and have breakfast in Wetherspoons - they stop doing eggs benedict at 12 o'clock. We made it with minutes to spare.
Perhaps I should have gone into town on my own to do things I wanted.
What I most wanted was an efficient printer.
And I have to say that the man of mature age in Maplins was very pleasant and helpful.
I have a Canon printer.
If anybody local wants the very inefficient and costly to run Epson to tinker with then it can be their's.
Possibly I shall give it to Bill's brother because I might need help setting up the printer,
I shall look at it in the morning.
Bill said he would get up early and help.
That might be another story.
For the rest of the day I have got and more frustrated with the clapping.
I felt fragile - bit gutty and head achy and I explained this to Bill, but he didn't see that as any reason to be quiet for me.
If my eye lids closed he would interrupt with a "Bee - Bo" I don't disturb him if he dozes off.
Why does he disturb me?
Well, I know why. He just doesn't know what he is doing or see any consequences of his actions.

Sorry - moaning again!
Come the end of January when we see the specialist I am wondering who will need the bigger dose of anti depressants!
Writing is my solution maybe.....not just a list of moans, I hope.
I wrote a lot when I was experiencing serious illness - death does rather focus the mind.
But today's writing was a response to Nelson Mandela - not his passing, but his triumph.


SOUTH AFRICAN DREAMS.        16th May 1994.

From the comfort of our easy freedom
We focused youthful anger, innocent dreams
On the African struggle and oppression -
Marching together against evil schemes.
Standing in candle lit vigils -
Such fun, and our consciences clear;
“Nought for your comfort" the Bishop warned -
A hero they did not want to hear.
Sharpville, Mandela and Passlaws -
The currency of the campaign;
Human rights and Anti - Apartheid,
Youth of the world against the insane.
We'd eye with disdain, their African wares,
The labels of tins were carefully scanned;
Refusing the fruits of the Southern Cape,
Personal sanctions against that evil land.
I've carried this heartfelt philosophy
Throughout the years of my adult life,
But the recent events in South Africa
Leave me reeling; there is no further strife.
The black people filed in with dignity
Their first, freedom filled votes to cast;
Mandela, not prisoner, but President,
Equal rights for all at last.
Moving on together, they've a fresh set of problems,
South Africans have a new mountain to climb.
Black and white will create a shared history -

But building a future of comfort takes time.










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