Tuesday, October 15, 2013
Despite the problems, today I feel so blessed.
I had asked around a little about choosing a solicitor - but basically the choice was pretty random.
Today we saw Stella......who is just one of the nicest, most helpful people I have ever met.
She was so good that the cynic in me died.....you know, that bit of me that says "well, she's paid a lot to be nice"
She was so, so patient with Bill - who was floundering today.
First we discussed our wills. I think that will go smoothly, when the time comes.
Just a new problem for Stella to come to terms with - if money goes to our offspring......then legally just what is the name of Clare?
I'll phone you Clare.
Stella seemed very keen for us to deal with our wills in a way that the house (well, not the whole house) could never be used to pay for any nursing home care.
She had ways and means.
Then we turned to the Power of Attorney forms.
Poor Bill and poor Stella! Stella had to be sure in her own mind that Bill understood what the form was about.
Did he? I'm still not sure.
He suggested it was to do with somebody sorting things out for you after you die. He was told what it was very simply.
And when asked again he thought it was having somebody to sort things when you die.
So, another go.......did Bill get it? "If I lose my mind"....he began.
Good enough it seemed.
I had already dealt with my form. Bill had heard the names of the two younger people I have asked to act as Power of Attorney. These are people he knows. We had discussed it together. Though discussions these days tend to be me asking him his opinions and giving my thoughts and me not hearing very much back. Come to think of it - maybe discussions have always been like that.
Anyway, Stella asked him who he thought would be a good power of attorney for him. It was if he had never thought about it.
Well, I have a sister......6 sisters. "Why do you think they would be good?" asked Stella.
"Well........." I am guessing he said that just because his sisters are there.
Stella and I talked of the fact that the sisters are the same generation as Bill and within a few years the older ones will be in their 70s too.
I asked him what he thought about the people I had chosen.
"Oh yes......they would be good"
Sadly he didn't seem to know how he was related to one of them - "No, Bill, not cousin in law - niece in law."
Stella just knew that we had to get it done and Bill was certainly giving the impression that we don't have the option to leave it for long. She made simple notes for him and even drew pictures for him.
Bless Stella for persevering - the legal documents will be sorted. Just got to get details like post codes sorted.
I will forever be grateful to that young woman for her demeanour and handling of the situation.
We even talked a little of the autism issue. At one point she told me that it is said that all engineers are somewhat autistic!. What was Bill? An engineer!
Bill was by this time completely out of his comfort zone.
We needed to get some bread before going home......how many time did he ask where we were going?
I am glad that he felt too numbed to want to accompany me to the bank.
I had an appointment with Kundan.
Yet again I was dealing with somebody I could both like and respect.
He was very helpful.
I made some notes and have a much greater understanding of taking control of the bank account.
I need to phone up a company tomorrow to deal with the portfolio we took out over 20 years ago.
I want that money in the same bank as we use for everything else.
I shall be able to switch money about from current account to savings account and back, using the computer.
I learned that the currant account pays interest on sums up to a certain level....and there is no point having more than that in the current account.
I learned too, that ISAs can only be issued to one named person.....so what I thought were "our" ISAs are Bill's. I must try and sort that out with him.
Gradually I am getting our affairs in order. I want everything to be straight and then all talk of wills and powers of attorney can be pocketed away and not thought about much until the right time.
I am quite tired tonight.......Bill, you are not the only one who has been way outside the sort of dealings we are accustomed to.
If you got to the end of this - well done!
It has been good to write and clarify things in my own mind.