Tuesday, April 08, 2014


Might be shingles.

This will be muddled.
I am muddled.
What is wrong with me?
I have felt far from well today and oh so sleepy.
This morning I became very faint and dizzy - and having an almighty hot flush. I felt nauseous.
I took my blood pressure - 142 over 75.
Not dangerously high, but higher than I am used to. It came down to 114 over 65 after a rest.
I felt it go up again later.
With the weakness I began to look for any pattern of old. Could this be high potassium level? I have to admit I have binged on good salt liquorice that Rolf bought for me.
That's a pattern I recognised.
Then the pain.
I have had this pain often before - and not always because of cracked ribs.
I remember asking somebody last summer (a physiotherapist) if she knew if it was possible to have shingles without a rash.
Just itching and pain.
She had not heard of no rash shingles.
But it does exist - known as zoster sin herpete. They say it is rare, but I suspect it is not that rare, just rarely diagnosed.
My first attack of shingles was in 1993. I was in hospital with a very low immune system and in the middle of yet more chemotherapy.
Not a good time.
Since then I have thought about shingles quite often - it has flared whenever I have felt low, stressed and run down. It was a joke really - obviously not shingles because there was no rash.
Today I talked with a friend and she was in immediate agreement that it could be shingles. She, too, has had attacks since the first one, in which there is no rash. She, too, has met suspicions - no rash, no shingles.
When I had my first attack, The Royal Marsden Hospital lent me a TENS machine to help with the pain.
We now have a machine and I have used it.
I am also trying to get the balance of painkillers right. Yesterday I definitely didn't have enough.
It's an awful pain. I have heard people comment on shingles pain as "not to be wished even on your worst enemy". Frankly my enemy (not that I have one) is welcome to my pain.
I want to feel well. I hate having my normal personality and life snatched from me.
Bill wants me to feel well. He is not coping at all. He is acting like a worried 2 year old - the toddler who doesn't understand why Mummy is not her usual fun self.
I have so many things to deal with.
And (mustn't grumble) people from various organisations have been phoning to ask what help they can be. Aaaaargh! I don't know!
On Thursday a psychiatrist from the memory service is coming to see both of us.
Time for bed now. So tired.
I wonder what tomorrow will bring - I am assuming I might be able to see Dr Dullo. He might be able to prescribe the anti viral drug given to people with shingles - though it might be too late now.
Always assuming that he believes I might have shingles.
Good night.