Wednesday, March 19, 2014


Support group.

This morning I tried to do very little.
I expect you might notice the next posting on my ramblings which show that some time from folks all round the world has gone into solving the antiques shop enigma.
That was fun.
It's good to keep learning knew things - which almost certainly will never be needed again.

I chatted with Frieda's son this morning.
She is being discharged from hospital next Monday - and with no secure sheltered accommodation in place.
She will be at home for as long as it takes, with carers coming in 3 or 4 times a week.
Her stairs will be gated so that she is not tempted to climb them. Her bed has been moved downstairs and there will be a commode.
This doesn't seem ideal.

I contacted Sussex University where Bill had the MRI scan. I want a copy of the scan - which we were told we would have. Somebody should ring back tomorrow.
I want it for any future second opinions.
Maybe even a third - our friends' son might have some useful opinions.

This afternoon I went to the carers' group. It was quite jolly and in some ways quite useful. I now have information about more caring organisations.
Bill went into the room with other "patients".
It felt just like leaving a small child on the first day of school and I wanted to gate crash to make sure he was alright.
Perhaps throwing him in at the deep end wasn't the best plan, because he was not completely alright.
He can't tell me what he did for those 2 hours - yes, he did talk to some people, he said. He was surprised when I reminded him that every person there had some sort of brain disease - some of them seemed just as normal as him!
At one point I saw him outside and the nurse persuading him to go back in. That made me feel awful.
But he was OK.
They told me he banged the table quite a lot.
I was also told that he answered questions in a quiz - a quiz that he has no recollection of.
But what upset me was that, at the end, when I was talking to the nurse, I asked if it was suitable to bring him again.
They was an awkward pause and it was decided that next time might be difficult..
I am sure they are right. You see three or four times a year the group meets at the Hindu temple. This is admirable because it raises the profile of dementia perhaps withing the Asian community.
And of course we wouldn't want Bill going off for a wander round a Hindu Temple!
It was explained to me that the "patients" meet in quite a small room and that there would probably be only one carer in charge and maybe she wouldn't be able to cope with Bill.
I suppose that is like with children - if one wandered off, does the teacher follow and leave everybody else unsupervised?
But I was upset that at a carers' group there was nobody who could care for Bill! Except me.
And that is the problem - Bill probably needs or wants one to one attention. And he wants it to be me.
And if he could just stop the noise then he would be easy to care for.
Today on the internet forum I have been chatting with somebody who knows about noise -. her husband makes sucking noises - sometimes for hours.
In fact her husband has very similar characteristics to Bill. We must be at a similar stage.

In a couple of weeks we will go to a different group.
This is the one which our friend Mandy is already involved with. She is a paid carer. We can go together and even have lunch there. It is every Friday.
I think we ought to give this Friday a miss......and then next week we will have a visitor staying with us.

Tomorrow I will go to Ford - as usual Bill has said he will come; even gave me permission to bully him to get up early.
I doubt that it will actually happen.