Tuesday, June 03, 2008
03 June Going, Going, Gone!
Flaming June!
Flaming rain and flaming floods!
Where is my flaming summer?
Flaming grey and flaming clouds!
Where is warmth and flaming sunshine?
That just about sums it up, though I am well aware that further to the West people have experienced worse than we have.
In fact it hasn't rained here all the day.
This morning saw us at the hospital once again - a very easy appointment in many ways and we were in and out in 45 minutes.
I saw the lovely Mr Swinn who had done my operation. I told him, that as far as I can see, all is going pretty well.
He was obviousy pleased, but reminded me that after all I had gone through it was still early days.
This raised slight alarm bells - why was he advising caution?
He explained that almost certainly there would be nothing further to worry about, but that the biopsies done at the time of surgery showed my cancer to the most aggressive and fast growing kind and that it was only just caught in time. It was almost through my bladder.
I think my subconscious mind had told me that, before Mr Swinn ever told me that surgery was necessary. He laughed that he had never met somebody so delighted to be offered a radical cystectomy!
I knew it could be a life saver.
Other biopsies were done at the time on tissues and parts connected to the bladder, and he showed me on the screen that all were clear.
The outlook is very good.
But he did say that having had the type of cancer which mine was I had a greater risk (low level risk) of it returning in some form, than maybe another person.
Because of this I will be very well monitored. I shall have a CT scan in 6 weeks and will be seen by the urology department again in 8 weeks.
He investigated the stoma through the bag and his handiwork at sewing up a scar! He was proud of that and thought he had done rather better than previous surgeons - my belly has an abundance of healed scars!
One final comment on this great and good man is that he quoted me word for word something I had said to him on the morning after surgery, when he told me that as far as he could see all had gone very well indeed.
I had said "Yesterday I had cancer - and now I don't".
It is a good thought to hang on to.
And how special is a doctor to remember the words of a patient uttered 7 months ago.
But then I know he thinks I am special!
And so that was it for this time. I know that all in all I felt content and came out of the room beaming.
For a few days I am sure I shall return to that thought of having a greater risk of it returning. But I am more than capable of following his advice and my own strengths to look forward with optimism and make the most of each day.
I just wonder right now what new challenges lie around the corner for me.
Today I am still clinging on to the old challenges a bit. When we arrived at Rocking Horse this afternoon, the desk I would have been sitting at this day (a Tuesday of course) had gone.
There was very little for us to do.
I made cups of tea for Joy and Peter and us and were happy to be together for a while.
Bill took all the shelving out to the car.
He then played with my camera and mirrors in the shop.
This magnifying security mirror was supposed to help us spot untoward activity on the part of a very small minority of people who came in.
It was on the pillar in Bill's little area and he grumbled sometimes that it was there and he couldn't display things higher.
Never mind, Bill has had a very successful time selling in the shop.
There was a big and somewhat tarnished mirror along the back wall which certainly helped to lighten up the end of the shop.
And finally for today I add a picture to my Going, Going sequence of yesterday.
Today I give you "GONE".
Flaming rain and flaming floods!
Where is my flaming summer?
Flaming grey and flaming clouds!
Where is warmth and flaming sunshine?
That just about sums it up, though I am well aware that further to the West people have experienced worse than we have.
In fact it hasn't rained here all the day.
This morning saw us at the hospital once again - a very easy appointment in many ways and we were in and out in 45 minutes.
I saw the lovely Mr Swinn who had done my operation. I told him, that as far as I can see, all is going pretty well.
He was obviousy pleased, but reminded me that after all I had gone through it was still early days.
This raised slight alarm bells - why was he advising caution?
He explained that almost certainly there would be nothing further to worry about, but that the biopsies done at the time of surgery showed my cancer to the most aggressive and fast growing kind and that it was only just caught in time. It was almost through my bladder.
I think my subconscious mind had told me that, before Mr Swinn ever told me that surgery was necessary. He laughed that he had never met somebody so delighted to be offered a radical cystectomy!
I knew it could be a life saver.
Other biopsies were done at the time on tissues and parts connected to the bladder, and he showed me on the screen that all were clear.
The outlook is very good.
But he did say that having had the type of cancer which mine was I had a greater risk (low level risk) of it returning in some form, than maybe another person.
Because of this I will be very well monitored. I shall have a CT scan in 6 weeks and will be seen by the urology department again in 8 weeks.
He investigated the stoma through the bag and his handiwork at sewing up a scar! He was proud of that and thought he had done rather better than previous surgeons - my belly has an abundance of healed scars!
One final comment on this great and good man is that he quoted me word for word something I had said to him on the morning after surgery, when he told me that as far as he could see all had gone very well indeed.
I had said "Yesterday I had cancer - and now I don't".
It is a good thought to hang on to.
And how special is a doctor to remember the words of a patient uttered 7 months ago.
But then I know he thinks I am special!
And so that was it for this time. I know that all in all I felt content and came out of the room beaming.
For a few days I am sure I shall return to that thought of having a greater risk of it returning. But I am more than capable of following his advice and my own strengths to look forward with optimism and make the most of each day.
I just wonder right now what new challenges lie around the corner for me.
Today I am still clinging on to the old challenges a bit. When we arrived at Rocking Horse this afternoon, the desk I would have been sitting at this day (a Tuesday of course) had gone.
There was very little for us to do.
I made cups of tea for Joy and Peter and us and were happy to be together for a while.
Bill took all the shelving out to the car.
He then played with my camera and mirrors in the shop.
This magnifying security mirror was supposed to help us spot untoward activity on the part of a very small minority of people who came in.
It was on the pillar in Bill's little area and he grumbled sometimes that it was there and he couldn't display things higher.
Never mind, Bill has had a very successful time selling in the shop.
There was a big and somewhat tarnished mirror along the back wall which certainly helped to lighten up the end of the shop.
And finally for today I add a picture to my Going, Going sequence of yesterday.
Today I give you "GONE".
