Tuesday, March 03, 2009
It turned out not to be a momentous day - thank goodness!
Today just might have been a momentous, life changing day; but in the end it turned out to be rather dull and routine.
This evening "dull and routine" feels good!
If I had trusted my instincts I would not have felt much concern about seeing the urology team for the results of the CT scan. There hasn't seemd to be anything wrong.
But I couldn't escape the "What ifs".
The morning after my surgery - 16 months ago now - Mr Swinn, the surgeon felt confident that he had removed all traces of the bladder cancer; as well as all traces of my bladder of course.
I believed him and delighted him with my response. I thanked him of course and said how wonderful it was to be able to look back to the morning before, when I had cancer; and then on the very next morning I could feel some joy that I had not got cancer anymore.
It was quite a climb back from that morning - especially with the high potassium problems. I suppose the modern media way of talking about the last 16 months would be to say I have been on a tough journey.
But it wasn't anywhere near as tough as the previous journey through cancer in the 1990s.
I still have my down moments about it all - but I try not to resent anything.
I have been so lucky to have been treated so well and so lucky to have had my cancer problems solved.
And I think I can begin to be sure that they have been solved.
This morning I knew the results before I saw the doctor. I understand the system. Mr Swinn, the consultant was in one room and his registrar was in another. I knew that if I was called to see Mr Swinn it might well be serious. But I was taken to the registrar - so almost certainly completely routine.
I told him of one or two concerns. He will want one of my symptoms to be watched.
I shall have an ultrasound scan next time - so much easier than a CT scan, and see the urology team again at the very beginning of September.
The rest of the day has been so absolutely normal. Some EBay sales and a quick trip to Asda for cat food and milk - and a few other bits. I have bought bargain tinned fruit. As you know my low potassium diet and my weak digestion make fresh fruit a bit of a problem, so I eat a lot of tinned fruit. Today I bought some Del Monte fruit that comes in sealed plastic containers and sell for £1.09 each - but the offer was 2 for £1. It was actually cheaper to buy 2 than to buy 1. I love the tropical fruit selection.
The weather has been unpleasant. Mostly grey and drizzly through the day and later the wind increased and it is now raining hard. What a shame after a lovely spring day yesterday.
Tomorrow we are going to Ikea to get some things for the bathroom. I am not sure if they do floor covering though.
We shall dine in their cafeteria - such good quality and such good prices too.
So, I shall not be playing Boggle at lunchtime, Roger and Sue.
I thank everybody for their good wishes for this day and for all the support as I revealed the good news. It is good to have the support of the facebook family as well as everybody else,
This evening "dull and routine" feels good!
If I had trusted my instincts I would not have felt much concern about seeing the urology team for the results of the CT scan. There hasn't seemd to be anything wrong.
But I couldn't escape the "What ifs".
The morning after my surgery - 16 months ago now - Mr Swinn, the surgeon felt confident that he had removed all traces of the bladder cancer; as well as all traces of my bladder of course.
I believed him and delighted him with my response. I thanked him of course and said how wonderful it was to be able to look back to the morning before, when I had cancer; and then on the very next morning I could feel some joy that I had not got cancer anymore.
It was quite a climb back from that morning - especially with the high potassium problems. I suppose the modern media way of talking about the last 16 months would be to say I have been on a tough journey.
But it wasn't anywhere near as tough as the previous journey through cancer in the 1990s.
I still have my down moments about it all - but I try not to resent anything.
I have been so lucky to have been treated so well and so lucky to have had my cancer problems solved.
And I think I can begin to be sure that they have been solved.
This morning I knew the results before I saw the doctor. I understand the system. Mr Swinn, the consultant was in one room and his registrar was in another. I knew that if I was called to see Mr Swinn it might well be serious. But I was taken to the registrar - so almost certainly completely routine.
I told him of one or two concerns. He will want one of my symptoms to be watched.
I shall have an ultrasound scan next time - so much easier than a CT scan, and see the urology team again at the very beginning of September.
The rest of the day has been so absolutely normal. Some EBay sales and a quick trip to Asda for cat food and milk - and a few other bits. I have bought bargain tinned fruit. As you know my low potassium diet and my weak digestion make fresh fruit a bit of a problem, so I eat a lot of tinned fruit. Today I bought some Del Monte fruit that comes in sealed plastic containers and sell for £1.09 each - but the offer was 2 for £1. It was actually cheaper to buy 2 than to buy 1. I love the tropical fruit selection.
The weather has been unpleasant. Mostly grey and drizzly through the day and later the wind increased and it is now raining hard. What a shame after a lovely spring day yesterday.
Tomorrow we are going to Ikea to get some things for the bathroom. I am not sure if they do floor covering though.
We shall dine in their cafeteria - such good quality and such good prices too.
So, I shall not be playing Boggle at lunchtime, Roger and Sue.
I thank everybody for their good wishes for this day and for all the support as I revealed the good news. It is good to have the support of the facebook family as well as everybody else,
