Tuesday, March 11, 2014



Today I have done a lot of something I consider that I am quite good at........talking!
And done a bit of listening too.
And I consider I am lucky to have had the opportunity.
I have talked with lovely people who I have never met before.
Hannah is the dementia nurse - just taken over from Lucy.
She rang to get to know me......and to know about Bill.
So I had lots to talk about. We'll get to meet her together next week.
I can very successfully give the impression of being strong and positive.....and basically that is because I am.
But people like Hannah can read between the lines and anyway I am not coy about the times when my strengths wane. I am not ashamed of my tears or my anger.
At least I knew Hannah's name.
The woman from the West Sussex Carer's Service gave me her name and I have forgotten it.
She picks people up, who are carers, from the GPs. So she phoned me to get to know me and to know about Bill.
This came about because I signed up as Bill's carer with Dr D last week.
I have also talked to somebody at the driving assessment centre - another lovely and supportive person.
The centre is in Maidstone.
Amazingly this woman sounded just like somebody I know well who lives near Maidstone - the same lilt and intonation of her voice. She sounded just like my cousin Alison. The Maidstone area must have a way of speaking all of its own.
The woman suggested I get Bill officially referred by the GP - the charge is cheaper that way.
The testing involves talking and oral testing of reactions and thought processes and some table top tests - and of course some driving.
Drivers are assessed driving one of their cars - with dual controls........just in case a driver is well beyond the stage of good driving.
Bill could attend the centre in Uckfield which is closer than Maidstone and more familiar to us. But it wouldn't be for 6 weeks or more.
But we had a sort of breakthrough this afternoon - I was allowed to drive the two of us to Asda! At the moment I just want Bill to accept that driving is something we both do.
Another one I have not yet met is a man......a fencing man. The first guy who came and estimated for the job forgot us. Tomorrow another very local person is coming to estimate.
I used Checkatrade for the first time......trades people can register with this web company and remain providing the feedback is good.
The first name on the list was this guy who trades under the name of Manor Green.
Coincidence - yesterday I was driving behind his van. I could read on the rear of the van that he did fencing and gates........ah that is just the person I am wanting I thought.
And there he was at the top of my computer screen.
And then there were people who I do know and love.
My friend Jean phoned this morning from North Wales. We are blessed to have Pete and Jean in our lives.
Lots of chat. Their son is a hospital consultant and he has been making comments on Bill's behaviour and condition.
Good to have a background second opinion!
Good to have so many folks who care and have opinions.
Later we went to see Bill's sister. Julie. She is bound up with the problems of the elderly - really elderly. Her father in law (95) is frail in body and somewhat in mind and in hospital. The family is at that awful stage of wondering what is right to do next.
It was good to listen for a change and think about other peoples' problems. Though not good that they have problems of course.
And Bill and I even found time for some work. I had bought a large collection of old tins recently and they needed polishing before I can take them to the shop.
We sat together with cloths and WD40 - this seems to enhance the fading colours.

So, a good day really.
OK - Bill muddled people up again today.
We came out of Asda and he asked me to remind him who we would go and visit.
He wondered if it might be his Auntie Pink. I told him that we wouldn't be going there because I happened to know she would out.
"Oh, where is she then?" he asks.
"Heaven" I replied.
"You mean she died?  When did that happen?"
Strange, last Saturday Bill thought another family member (my family) lived at Auntie Pink's address.
She must be on Bill's mind.
Bill just made me a cup of tea......time to relax.