Friday, December 30, 2011
The sad 9th day of Christmas
I still don't understand funerals. How quickly the solemnity, the tears, the immense philosophical thoughts going through each person's head all become smiles and laughter and joy.
I wouldn't want it different.
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.
Christina Rosetti ends her wonderful poem Remember Me with those lines.
But Peter has not been forgotten, of course. He can be remembered with love and joy.
There have been tears - and will be again, for Jo and other close family. But the overwhelming emotions now are of the love within a family and social life which will endure through generations.
Jo and Peter's family is big. For both it was a second marriage and they skilfully combined their 7 children, who have grown to provide grandchildren and now some great grandchildren.
At the funeral there were prayers and bible readings, music, a poem - even an 11 year old grandson got up to read the poem he had written, good memories from people left behind and an ouline of Peter's life.
Outside the chapel were hugs and kisses of greeting.
And then a chance to relax with food and drink.
The reception was held at the football stadium - the Redz Bar. I guessed it would be there - for it is managed by Jo's daughter, Rhona.
We met up with Joy and Peter - of Rocking Horse Antiques. That was lovely.
The children were just happy to be with all the cousins. The older ones chatting and gossiping over drinks.
I was glad to meet Jo's sister from Dorset.
Most of all I was glad to be talking with Jo. She is coping very well; she now realises just how much Peter couldn't take any more of living with a failing heart and how regrets and sadness must be balanced by the peace of knowing that he was ready for his death.
He had been organising and planning financial affairs for weeks. No detail had been forgotten.
He was such a kind and gentle man, with a twinkle in his eye, ready to listen to his vast extended family and many friends.
Now its my turn to give a little back to this lovely couple.
We will be in the shop tomorrow and on Monday and Tuesday. I need to know that Jo can relax and not worry about her duties there.
She had thought she might be in on Tuesday, but now has a date with the solicitor instead.
I wouldn't want it different.
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.
Christina Rosetti ends her wonderful poem Remember Me with those lines.
But Peter has not been forgotten, of course. He can be remembered with love and joy.
There have been tears - and will be again, for Jo and other close family. But the overwhelming emotions now are of the love within a family and social life which will endure through generations.
Jo and Peter's family is big. For both it was a second marriage and they skilfully combined their 7 children, who have grown to provide grandchildren and now some great grandchildren.
At the funeral there were prayers and bible readings, music, a poem - even an 11 year old grandson got up to read the poem he had written, good memories from people left behind and an ouline of Peter's life.
Outside the chapel were hugs and kisses of greeting.
And then a chance to relax with food and drink.
The reception was held at the football stadium - the Redz Bar. I guessed it would be there - for it is managed by Jo's daughter, Rhona.
We met up with Joy and Peter - of Rocking Horse Antiques. That was lovely.
The children were just happy to be with all the cousins. The older ones chatting and gossiping over drinks.
I was glad to meet Jo's sister from Dorset.
Most of all I was glad to be talking with Jo. She is coping very well; she now realises just how much Peter couldn't take any more of living with a failing heart and how regrets and sadness must be balanced by the peace of knowing that he was ready for his death.
He had been organising and planning financial affairs for weeks. No detail had been forgotten.
He was such a kind and gentle man, with a twinkle in his eye, ready to listen to his vast extended family and many friends.
We will be in the shop tomorrow and on Monday and Tuesday. I need to know that Jo can relax and not worry about her duties there.
She had thought she might be in on Tuesday, but now has a date with the solicitor instead.
