Wednesday, February 24, 2010


All I want for Christmas is some decent teeth!

My brain has addled today.
In the space of a split second this morning I lost that lovely secure feeling about life.... and its crazy!
I have endured very many traumas with regard to my health but against the thought of having a tooth extracted they seem to pale into insignificance.
Major operations are done without my knowledge and I have been cared for through the worst days of recovery.
I have to cope with the tooth extraction alone and conscious.

It is very strange that this morning as I washed, I gazed into the mirror and wondered about my teeth. One day, surely, my dentist might agree to me having all the remaining top ones out under an anaesthetic.
Half an hour later, as I ate breakfast my thoughts were brutally back on my teeth.
One of the worst looking ones crumbled as I ate my rice cake.
It is one that I want taken away - near the front and ruins the looks of my smile.

Bill Clinton, my dentist is a great person and a good dentist and has the NHS ethic that his skills should be used to save teeth rather than to make money.
Time and again he saves my teeth.
But both Bill and I feel that this tooth has gone beyond saving.
Just maybe he could take the other one I really want gone at the same time - I doubt it.
And there are others that are very close to being terminal cases.

I shall know the dentist's opinion tomorrow morning.
The thought dominates my brain.
At times I feel a bit shaky.
I try to remember all my coping strategies - in this case I must keep in mind that whatever the outcome the trauma will be over and done with in half an hour. What are 30 minutes of my life? Just a very short time.
Experience tells me that when it is done I shall feel such relief and such a rush of adrenalin that I will feel pleased with myself.
I have coped before and will do so again.

But it is strange that I don't recall feeling this bothered on the night before having a much more major part of my body removed.

Sorry to sound such a wimp - I just needed to clear the negativity from my brain, and so have dumped it onto my blog!

I have done a bit of EBay work - I re-listed some items and decided that some others should go to the Oxfam bookshop in Dorking.
Bill had 2 things finishing today on EBay and they both sold.

The little patch of blue sky and sunshine that appeared around lunch time was a very brief interlude within the gloom and the heavy rain.

Tomorrow evening a different woman will write the blog - the one who laughs at life and copes with upset; I hope that is the normal me.