Grandma P's Ramblings Through Life

I must make things to do lists......I am so good at putting things off.
And I must not put some things off or they might never get done.
Today we went out armed with a list.
We now have 4 appointments at our GP surgery (3 for Bill and 1 for me). We will go in 2 weeks time ........on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday!
They tried to do it differently but they are over stretched and I told them that it really didn't matter.
My next job was to arrange to see somebody at our bank to discuss the best way and the way that I want to be in control of things financial.
I want simplicity rather than an extra half a percent interest.
We have an online bank account and I think I should transfer the money to the local branch of bank that we are with.
Just for simplicity.
I think what I would really like is my old fashioned post office savings book that I used when I was a student!
My appointment there is next Tuesday.
I have started reading up on Power of Attorney.....I still am not sure whether Bill needs one or I need one .......or both.
I have discussed things with my half sister and she will do it and would be very happy with my idea of sharing the job with a niece (degree in law).
Both live reasonably locally.
Tomorrow I must phone a solicitor to arrange to have simple wills drawn up. We only need simple.
When I see the solicitor I can ask more about Power of Attorney.
After the business errands I took Bill for a snack in the little cafe above the hospice shop. It is very pleasant, serves little snacks at very reasonable prices.
Parcels have been posted - except the Rupert Annual; that's not paid for yet.
Of the 15 things I put on EBay yesterday, 6 already have bids. That's quite quick.

(And an hour later I can report that bids are up to 8).

Hooray for tomorrow morning!
We shall get up early on what is promised to be a very sunny morning (if not actually very warm) and we will go to Ford.
That's my world....the world of second hand, interesting and other people's junk!
I keep accounts it is true - but high finance it is not.

Today has been a buying and selling day at home.
I have photographed more things for EBay and described them and then dealt with other things that were finishing on EBay today.
And of course I have dealt with wrapping and payments.
The item I have described this time which interests me the most is a book.....Here Comes Muffin.
Now when Muffin began his TV career our family  didn't have a television, so I knew nothing of Muffin and his friends. I think I can recall hearing the Muffin song from other children.
I bought the book, without a dust wrapper to take to the shop for selling.
In fact it has been to the shop and when I picked it up from the box to price up I had a very pleasant surprise.



"Ah" I thought......."perhaps this Muffin book should find a wider public on EBay"

Annette Mills wrote the books and presented the programmes and Ann Hogarth designed the puppets.

It has watchers - but no bidders yet.
The honour of the first item to get a bid this week goes to an early OS map of Northampton and District.
















The 1946 Rupert Annual sold well as did a Phantom Comic Annual of 1967; the latter will be posted to India in the morning.

I created a tasty sausage casserole this afternoon, whilst Bill mowed lawns.
I thought he might not get there - he slept or did nothing all morning.
He hasn't asked or commented about my EBay dealings.
In a way that is not new......he has never been very interested in the big wide world, even my world.
That's an autistic trait isn't it? I am quite used to his lack of interest and praise in things that I do.

I finish with a joke - with no apologies to Michael Gove! I do apologise to any people I care about who might not enjoy having Michael Gove attacked.
But I think I am sufficiently qualified to comment that he really hasn't got a clue!

This was the sale of the day..........





































A good sale, indeed.........just a pity it was the only sale of the day.
The woman who bought it had been determined to have it after her last visit to us, maybe 3 months ago.
She intended to carry it on the bus to Horsham!
We advised her that we could easily deliver it to her to save her that bother.
And it turned out to be even less bother for us than we thought........woman lives in Crawley.
She decided to wander round Dorking for  a bit and then join her gramophone for the ride back home.
This giving Bill some time to play........................




































My little elfin man.

Tired now. Bedtime.

It became a beautiful day, that sunrise mist soon burned away.
But did I do right? Bill, at first, said he wanted to stay in bed.
I accepted that - maybe it wasn't me pushing him that got him, washed, dressed and breakfasted in time to go to the car boot sale.
We went to the one close to Poynings.
I bought interesting bits and pieces.
But I specially like my new boots - they cost me £5.

The M&S jacket cost me £3.
That was good buying to serve me through the winter.



















We came home via Horsham. There would be a French market there and a retro market.......didn't see much of the latter.
But it was a happy market and I enjoyed being there......did Bill? I don't think so. I think it was too far outside his cosy box.
I wanted to buy food from the French stalls.....he was afraid of it. I couldn't even persuade him that cheesy boiled potatoes and bacon would be OK.
In the end we went into Subway......where we have never been before. I could become a fan; don't think Bill would want to return - there were too many choices. Which roll? Which filling? Which salad? Which sauce? (easy for Bill.....sauces are now off the menu, even the brown sauce that he always used to have). I had a delicious filled roll with turkey and ham, tomatoes and onions and a honey mustard sauce.
We ate outside enjoying the music duo performing 60s music.
We wandered amongst the stalls, me taking pictures and being tempted by a few thing. Looking back, I wish I had allowed myself to have succumbed to more!

Balloon man on stilts................................................................monsieur et le nougat










Bread and buns ready for the oven...

and some items ready for eating.







Look good don't they?


Wish I had bought one.




















Wish I had enquired about the children's jackets..... would have made great "Welcome" gifts for our most recent great nieces.


















The mythical "sky hook".


















































The rice looks good - but I still had my heart set on something else. Beyond is the cheesy potato meal, that Bill turned away from.
































































Sawadee ka!!!! This was where I was heading. I wanted some Thai food cooked for me by a Thai woman.
We had already eaten our Subway rolls so I got a dish of penang pork and rice to bring home and put in the fridge for tomorrow evening. Couldn't have it tonight because I already had food sorted, which Bill would like.

Thai street food in Horsham Carfax.
Got a couple of chicken satay sticks.




















Home then for an afternoon of rest......and some eating.



Yummy!



















Meanwhile in Thailand more simple food was being eaten.....it's vegetarian festival time. That's ten days of simple eating.
Actually I would love to be there eating these things with a cup of longan juice and lots of ice.

I feel that I learned a lot yesterday.
And more today.
I learned (shouldn't I already have known?) that Bill still has a lot to say. But he is handicapped in expressing things, particularly now he does not remember what I might assume to be familiar.
Like today, we came home from Littlehampton along a very familiar route - but Bill didn't know it or wasn't sure.
It is as if each day he starts a new life with little knowledge of what went on in yesterday's life.
He told me was happy about the assessment - enjoyed it really.
He still doesn't remember his mother's death.......thought it might have been in Redhill hospital.
On that point I want to put a picture of Bill's mother on this page.

I assume this was taken on Bill's parents wedding day - November 25th 1939.It was taken with Mum's mother.
The reason I have posted this photo is to ask you to look at another photo which appeared on memories of Crawley - a group photo. Of course I scanned the faces to see if I recognised anybody.
I knew one woman for sure - and next to her, could that be Bill's Mum? And if so is it Bill she is carrying in her arms. The photo is not dated unfortunately.



The tall woman at the back I do know. She is Mrs Sweet and I knew her children Bernice and Peter. She does look like Bernice.
The shorter woman next to her, without a hat, just could be Bill's mother. Compare with the picture above.

Well, that was a waste of time.......hope you haven't studied the pictures too hard.
I have now been told that the picture of mothers and babies dates from 1937.
So Bill cannot be there; nor his mother who would have been just 15. And we do know that Bill was her first born in 1940.


I learned or understood more about Bill's condition too from a facebook friend in Canada. She plays wordsplay on the computer (ygo - Roger), She is a teacher.
She wrote to me about autism and obsessive compulsive disorder. She feels that the the frequent clapping and other rhythmical noises could be a subconscious way of trying to establish his independence and individuality.
Whether or not that is so, it helps me to be more patient.

And then in Wetherspoons this morning, in Littlehampton I was taught once again that whatever one's problems there is always somebody far worse off.
As you may have realised, The George in Littlehampton is more than a pub, it is a sort of social club.
We have got to know quite a few people there.
There is a couple (a couple of men, though really isn't relevant to my story) who I didn't expect to see. They have a flat in Malta and were going out there a couple of days ago.
So I didn't look for them at Ford, where they also go.
But they did come in to The George. One is very frail with multiple sclerosis and is in a wheel chair - his name is Bill.
The pair of them are always ready for a laugh - though Bill's conversation is more limited.
I commented that they clearly were not in Malta.
Things have happened very rapidly for Bill - he has had a diagnosis of cancer. Just how much does his partner have to deal with? It must be awful.
Bill had been called yesterday for a CT scan at Worthing Hospital this morning.
Bill doesn't know of the diagnosis.
So his partner, whose name I forget, continued with his normal banter and conversation with friends.
Everybody acted totally as normal.

I bought very little this morning at Ford - almost all books, including 17 smart paperback Biggles books.
But it was good to get out.
We had a walk by the river, once again.
Littlehampton was crowded today. There was to be a procession featuring a unit of The Royal marines.
This particular unit has a connection with James Bond.
Ian Fleming was part of the team which set up this particular Marine Commando Unit during WW2.

Today The marines paraded and were given freedom of Littlehampton.
But we decided to leave before the time of the parade.....just didn't want to stand around for an hour.

This afternoon I abandoned a jigsaw - which clearly wasn't complete.
Soon we will eat and enjoy a relaxed evening with the TV.

We (or Bill) is now in the system.
I guess that is as far as we have got........but I did leave feeling a strong urge to hug the nurse.
The assessment covered a lot and lasted nearly 2 hours.
It was good to hear Bill talking.
But I am sure it was noticed how he turned to me almost all the time expecting me to find answers for him.
I am sure that Stella, the nurse, was not hoodwinked into believing him when he told of her of his many and varied interests.
He conceded that his interest in cycling had waned!!! When was he last in the cycle club? About 50 years ago.
He told her he was interested in photography. My answer to the same question had to report that his interest went as far as carrying a camera - not in taking or dealing with photographs. The interest was in the past.
Bill wanted Stella to think that his interest in the shop was as it ever was.
He was good with numbers.
He was good on some of the simpler recognition tests.
Interestingly when asked to name as many things beginning with P as possible in  a minute he didn't jump in with the simple things he could see like pen and pencil and paper. He came up with words like perpendicular and other longer words.....goodness knows what she made of pinkywinky!
He was asked to write a sentence  - any sentence. I think both Stella and I were a bit gobsmacked with
"The astronaut climbed out of the spacecraft and fell to earth."
Where did that come from?
He couldn't remember the name of the Prime Minister - even in a week when he has been on TV news a lot. But he did know the name of Barack Obama and Margaret Thatcher. He couldn't remember the name of the American president who was assasinated in the early 1960s - didn't recall such a thing happening.
Stella was also checking physical health and family medical history.
Basically - what did his parents die of? He replied "Old age"
I knew just how wide of the mark he was......and I asked him specifically what his mother had died of.
He didn't know.
His Mum had a brain tumour and died in the local hospice. We had been at the hospice a lot. Bill registered the death.
I asked Stella about the noisy clapping, tapping etc.
She said she had not come across this as a symptom of the type of problems Bill is displaying.
I told her that it may well be that Bill has strong autististic tendencies.......not able to express himself well and not at all about his emotional being and not being empathetic with the needs of others.
She said that could be a possibility, but we both wondered why the habit has developed along with the memory loss and lack of interest in activities of life.
She should have known.....put dementia and clapping or dementia and repetitive behaviour into Google and information is there for all to read.
She did talk to me about the need to get power of attorney. Well, that is a job for next week!
Bill thought that power of attorney was dealing with things after you have died.
There was much, much more.
What happens now is that Stella will take her notes and knowledge to discuss Bill with the doctor she works with.
Almost 100% certain will be an MRI scan. That should be within 6 weeks.
Only after that can medication be prescribed - once they have a clearer picture of what they are dealing with.
Bill has agreed to be part of a research programme and that will involved a deeper and longer MRI scan.
I hope that within 10 days we will know when the scan will be.
The assessment was carried out in Maidenbower - one of the newest parts of Crawley.
Now forgive me people who live there and love it there, but from the outside it seems to have an artificial atmosphere to it. They call it a village and it is almost as if building a variety of cottagey old style housing, have made a new housing development a village.
The Maidenbower pub is a 15th century farmhouse......Frogshole Farm.
The building is attractive and old.








But it has been overdeveloped.
Some of that became a necessity when the building was badly damaged by fire a few years ago.
Inside I didn't feel any atmosphere - though it was busy.
The service was good as was our jacket potatoes, But I wasn't tempted to linger like we have done in other pubs of late.

Much done today.
First I got to work with the iron, whilst Bill slept on in bed.
After breakfast (late again)  I took cleaning cloths to the bathroom. I do like gleaming taps!
All that bending and stretching is hard work.
Then we had to pop out for bread, milk and coffee.
As I continued to clean I pushed Bill into duties......he changed the bedding on our bed. He has done it for years.
I think he would rather have dozed - but he can understand that he should do things when he is able..
After lunch I worked on the form I have to complete before Bill goes the memory clinic tomorrow.
It was hard.
Its not as though I haven't expressed in words how Bill is - but this seemed so official.
And it was hard because I kept thinking "Yes, but......."
I had to assess his behaviour on a scale of 1 to 5.
For example - "He asks the same questions over and over again".
I put the answer as DAILY.......I had the option for CONSTANTLY. But of course its not constant because he is sleeping/dozing too.
I am anxious about tomorrow. I am guessing this is just a preliminary visit and more time must elapse before anything much us done.
Surely, please, he can have the medication immediately? But the person we are seeing is a memory assessment nurse, not a doctor.
I will be firm. I have no fears of medical people - I have had many opportunities for learning how best to discuss problems.
I have made another bread pudding today. We'll have a piece in a short while with our a cuppa.
And I cooked a meal from a recipe book.....honey mustard chicken with parsnips. It was very good.
And I have finished another jigsaw puzzle - complete, I am glad to say.

So, I dragged him out for a while.......I mean I persuaded Bill that he would enjoy a trip out!
Today we headed for 2 more unexplored villages....Fulking and Poynings; both nestle under The South Downs escarpment not far north of Brighton.
Our first port of call was the pub at Fulking.
























We shared a filled panini, which was delicious.




















Fulking has 2 sources of ;water: each is adorned with biblical quotes.
























I couldn't get a good angle on the second spring - a large 4x4 had parked about 2 feet from it.
It was John Ruskin who, as a frustrated engineer, devised a plan for pumping water from the stream to the points where the water could be gathered more easily.





















Houses in Fulking were the homes of the more affluent in society.


Now, that's an interesting entrance.

Local people may recall that another house had a very similar "gateway" quite close by.
It was on the Devil's Dyke road over The Downs to Brighton.
I think that in that czase, the brick circle has gone now.









































Interesting collection in the window.
I have always said that there is nothing under the sun that is not collected.


















Back to the pub to collect the car and drive to the next village of Poynings.





















Poynings felt busier and more humdrum.
But these days the houses in any village at the foot of The South Downs must command a high price.
 We found no church in Fulking - maybe there was some tiny building tucked away.

The Poynings Church was large, simple and solid.















This evening I have learned about the family who had Downmere built.
It was the home of Sir Emile Littler.
The Littlers (2 brothers and a sister) were influential  theatre impressaios for much of the 20th century.
Emile's brother (Prince) founded The London palladium and established ITV television.

Emile married one of the leading ladies of her day (20s and 30s) - she was Cora.
Cora adopted 2 daughters, Judy and Merrilees.
One of the lanes through the village is named Cora's way.







































This opposite the church and is called Cora's Corner.
The seats bear the names of her adopted daughters.




















Sheep on the hillside.





There is a small workshop where dar repairs and servicing are undertaken.
No petrol is sold there now.
The old petrol pump is delightful.











































































After our stroll in Poynings we visited the pub - The Royal Oak.
Today it was the pub with no beer!
They had run out after  a busy weekend.








Not a typical quaint village pub......but very comfortable and very friendly.






















View through the window of The Royal Oak,

We didn't do all that I planned - but we did get out.
I had planned that we might have a stroll round the gardens at Nymans- but that didn't happen because we spent so long in one of Nyman's cottages.
My friend Marion lives in one of the cottages on the estate.
She plied us with bacon rolls and tea and she and I talked and talked.
We talked of finances.....a subject I am notably bad at. So is she, but having been widowed a couple of years ago she has had to learn.
Like me she would like to get affairs simplified.
Well, that is easier for me - for our finances are really quite limited and what we do have is in joint bank accounts.
She has prompted me to instigate having wills made.
Her husband had done a will - but so many years ago it was actually irrelevant.
We should have done it years ago too........but at least we don't have a will that needs updating.
We talked also of getting power of attorney.
It is something that must be done.
I must make an appointment to discuss things with the bank manager too - just to get everything simplified.
Thank you to Facebook friends who have given advice.
Quite a challenge for me......but it would feel so good to be sort of top of things.

The jigsaw challenge I have been doing is now completed. I bought 4 last Thursday at Ford. It is quite some while since I have bought jigsaws to sell.







It is from a series called Good Companions. The first 130 date from the 1950s and 60s and are a wonderful depiction of life - the social scene, the work place, transport etc.
I find them very attractive.

My other achievement (hardly very notable) was to cook a meal from scratch using a recipe book.
I deliberately chose a recipe that wouldn't give too much strong flavour to Bill.
Maybe even he found it could have done with a bit more seasoning.
It was chicken and bacon done in a wine and cream sauce with pasta.
Perhaps he didn't like the pasta......where's my spuds woman?










Time for bed soon.#
I think I shall encourage Bill to get up earlier than he did today. Maybe he does better without that long sleep.
This morning he queried with me as to the whereabouts of Asda.
When I said it was in the town, he then asked me where we would park.
I guess we call in there  about 3 times every week - but he was confused.
When Morrisons open I might confuse him more and opt for that supermarket instead.
I have an American friend who tries to persuade people to have nothing to do with Walmart - and that is the company which now owns Asda.
Though I do believe that Asda is more ethically sound than Walmart.
.........
I just got sidetracked......where did the name come from?
Well in 1965 (long before the Walmart days) a merger took place between a small company called Asquith's and a larger chain called Associated Dairies........and Asda was formed as a combination of Asquith and Dairies.

But we won't be going to Asda tomorrow.
I think it will stay dry - so maybe we'll have that stroll around Nymans. Though I have a yearning for more village exploration and have my sights set on Fulking.

Oooh tired!
Maybe it is more tiring not having lots of things to rearrange at the shop. I have been sitting for most of the day - lots of chatting with Steve.
Good company.
I wrote up a  pile of books which are now on the shelf.
This morning we just were not busy; by lunchtime we had taken the princely sum of £14.
The afternoon was busier and culminated in selling my meat safe - the one I bought just 8 days ago.
Bill took my parcels to be posted. Five items sold yesterday afternoon and five items now on their way to new homes.


The Cadbury's Roses tin sold during the week.

The person who bought the meat safe will be back. She just loved my section.